Oh, we got us a real hairball up in here. A nuclear plant has already melted down, and Lispy Skip's shut-in mom is stranded in the fallout zone. He enlists DoDder in his quest to rescue her, with a predictable result (that means a bad one, in case you're new here). Kiefer and Soul Patch's increasingly urgent hunt for the MacGuffin leads them straight to TerrorMom. When Kiefer plays empathetic parent cop with her, she agrees to help them find the device in exchange for a presidential pardon for TerrorTeen. Problem is, TerrorTeen's out running an errand and TerrorDad catches up with him before Kiefer does, burning a wide swath through TerrorMom's siblings along the way. CTU ends up trapping TerrorDad in a hospital basement with TerrorTeen as a hostage, but TerrorMom only plans to stay helpful as long as TerrorTeen stays alive. In the apt words of Kiefer, did you get that? Also, DaD suddenly looks about five years younger and two bits poorer, if you catch my drift.
Previously on 24: ImhoTerror was running the MacGuffin personally to make sure that the remaining six nuclear reactors melted down, and told TerrorDad to "clean up [his] mess." TerrorDad promised to kill off his whole family, because he's just that much of a suck-up. TerrorTeen was pissed at TerrorDad, but claimed not to be afraid of him any more. TerrorGringo told his pet mole AIIIEEEE!sha to "divert suspicion," which she did, onto Special Agent Breck, who got tortured on Driscoll's orders. Kiefer caught up with TerrorGringo before he got away in a helicopter, but then TerrorGringo got snipered right out from under him. Dammit! Lispy Skip told Driscoll, Curtis, and Scott (the latter of whom we may never see again after he totally muffed his one job) that AIIIEEEE!sha was the real mole. Curtis caught up with her in the parking lot and arrested her, which was lucky for her because her car was rigged to blow, but not entirely lucky, because she got knocked unconscious anyway by the explosion. Nice parking lot security, CTU. Curtis's car stereo is as good as mine. The following takes place between 3:00 PM and 4:00 PM. Heavens, where does the time go?
Curtis charges up to the DrisCube, full of righteous I-told-you-so fury over AIIIEEEE!sha. Driscoll turns it around on him, saying that he was the one who boned a spy in the first place, and now they're both going to be in trouble with Division over the high-security files AIIIEEEE!sha was supposedly able to access. Actually, Driscoll was the one who signed off on AIIIEEEE!sha's higher security clearance. But even so, as far as I can tell, the only damaging info that AIIIEEEE!sha ever leaked was what she "accessed" by virtue of people popping off at the mouth. Curtis suggests to Driscoll, off the record, that since AIIIEEEE!sha did such a good job of establishing her credentials, it's not going to take him more than two minutes to cover both their asses in regard to how she got the CTU gig in the first place. Driscoll says she'll call Division at five. I'm sure they'll just be sitting around waiting patiently for her call.
Dammit, where's the exposition that usually goes here? I'm feeling lost.
Oh, here it is, in the form of the leader of the free world, and he's pissed off. About Air Force One being converted into a geosynchronous weather satellite while he's on board? No, about AIIIEEEE!sha. He's grilling DaD over the phone about how AIIIEEEE!sha got in the front door. DaD is shaven, shorn, and getting ready to don a red power tie under his new suit (which was presumably delivered to him by Scott, who must have been deservedly busted to dry-cleaning duty) while standing in a room that overlooks the CTU clinic's OR where AIIIEEEE!sha's being worked on. He explains to POTUS that they're still looking into the question of how AIIIEEEE!sha infiltrated the place, as well as whom she is working for and who tried to take her out. DaD does assume that AIIIEEEE!sha's would-be killer is also connected with the theft of the MacGuffin. Way to bring that up. "We need to find that MacGuffin now," POTUS commands. He asks for the latest on the nuke sitch. DaD reports that the San Gabriel Island plant -- the one that, according to the map, is near San Diego, although a few Eagle-Eyed Forum Posters say it's closer to L.A. -- is about to go critical within the hour. The area has "less than a hundred thousand" evacuees, most of whom are already on the move. POTUS tells DaD to snap it up. DaD agrees, then goes back to just standing there and watching AIIIEEEE!sha in the OR. And that's all we'll see of her this week. Also MIA this hour: Special Agent Breck, Grayadder, and DrisKid. I just hope the clinic's not out of Haldol.
Kiefer, Soul Patch, and TerrorGringo's helicopter pilot are just chilling around the helipad as if a mysterious sniper hadn't rained hot lead death onto the scene three minutes past. Kiefer's on the phone with Driscoll explaining that even though TerrorGringo is dead, his cell phone isn't, and Kiefer was able to pull two phone numbers from it. One was AIIIEEEE!sha's, and the other is an 818-555 number. Driscoll says she'll get back to him with the scoop on that number. I think we can assume that this number doesn't belong to a 24 propmaster.