Day 4: 3:00 PM – 4:00 PM

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
When Worlds Collide

3:09:37. TerrorTeen is still playing concerned, guilty son, while TerrorMom is still playing brave, stoic mother. "Your father shot me, not you," she reminds him. By which she means that TerrorTeen didn't do the shooting, but it reads like she's disappointed that he didn't take the bullet. Which, sure. She continues: "Everything that's happened today…what we've all been fighting to achieve… it's more important to [TerrorDad] than anything or anyone." "But not to you," TerrorTeen obviouses. TerrorMom falls asleep, because he's just that boring. Heh. Oh, I guess she's passing out. That's not as funny. TerrorTeen rouses her nervously. He insists on getting her some pain meds from TerrorMom's brother, who works at a hospital nearby. TerrorMom protests, because her brother isn't in on the big TerrorPlan, but TerrorTeen says he'll just tell NonTerrorUncle that TerrorMom needs some Hillbilly Heroin and leave it at that. TerrorMom agrees, as long as he hurries. "I will," TerrorTeen lies, and heads out.

Just as DaD's coming back from his mini-spa day on CTU's upper level, Driscoll rolls up to notify him that they have a meltdown already; core material from the San Gabriel Island plant is airborne. Somebody had better warn the president not to fly through that. "I thought we had more time," DaD complains. A tech calls Driscoll over with the news that they've got someone at the plant ready to go up on the videophone, although some technobabble is making the feed unstable. Lispy Skip comes up to ask what's going on, and Driscoll tells him about the meltdown, rather than reminding him that he was the one looking at the screen showing the reactor going critical last week. The reactor crew of three or four Homer Simpsons is onscreen, although they're looking pretty staticky and moving at a distressingly low refresh rate. Driscoll asks the head Homer what's going on. Head Homer, whose face is covered with so many radiation burns that he looks like he fell asleep and did a faceplant into a bowl of goulash at the plant cafeteria, explains that they've been dosed with the equivalent of 10,000 x-rays. Why can't we see their bones, then? Oh, and also, the plant's core is emptying itself into the atmosphere like a can of Aqua Net. DaD, who didn't see what happened to Mason last year, snaps, "Son, you've done everything you can. Now get the hell out of there." Head Homer says, "Well, sir, since we're under the jurisdiction of the Department of Energy, you can go screw." No, he just calmly says, "Evacuating won't make any difference, sir. We've already been exposed." The feed goes snowy. Everyone realizes they're the last people who will ever see those Homers alive. And those guys can forget about leaving good-looking corpses. It's 3:12:22.

3:16:44. TerrorMom suffers, Lispy Skip jabbers on the phone, and Driscoll loiters. DaD and Curtis pedeconference past a meeting in progress -- that's a whole lot of conferring in that shot there -- as basically we learn that Curtis is understaffed and has to do everything himself. DaD, annoyed, picks up a TV remote off a nearby desk where it's just lying around and points it at the CTU big screen, where the news of the meltdown is breaking. It's so cute how Fox News gets to play the part of a real news channel on this show.

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