After Kiefer and Grayadder escape from the MacGuffin Factories HQ, they still have to deal with the company's private army of mercenaries. Our hero and his bruised-up sidekick make a stand in a sporting goods store owned by a couple of those "good Arabs" that have been on back-order since Episode One. It's an ideal location for Kiefer's purposes, thanks to its bountiful supply of guns, ammunition, and anvils. At CTU, new boss Bitchelle shows Special Agent Breck that there ain't but room for one prickly, well-coifed brunette in these here parts. Begone, usurper! Things are also tense between Bitchelle and Soul Patch, but they appear to strike an uneasy truce by episode's end. But you want a truce? How about Grayadder taking a bullet for Kiefer? Those two crazy kids might just make a go of it.
Previously on 24: Driscoll handed control of CTU over to Soul Patch, who then had to hand it over almost immediately to his estranged wife, Bitchelle. Kiefer and Grayadder went to the headquarters of MacGuffin Factories to snoop around in ImhoTerror's computer logs. MF didn't want them learning anything, so they deleted a bunch of files. But Grayadder started to rebuild them, so the MFers set off their electromagnetic pulse bomb to delete the files for good. Kiefer tried to stop it, but couldn't, and Downtown L.A. went dark. And according to last week's show page poll, only 15% of you didn't already know what an EMP was. But that's not going to stop them from explaining it to you again. The following takes place between 7:00 PM and 8:00 PM.
At CTU, Curtis is on the phone with the Exposition Call Center in Bangalore, where an operator is explaining that "only the most basic battery-powered devices" are still operating in the EMP zone. The closed captioning says that "even emergency generators are dysfunctional," which I think is also relevant. So nothing's working but flashlights and vibrators, which explains why we don't see any female characters out and about in the blackout zone this hour. Curtis further learns that eight square miles are affected, "including the southeast quadrant of Downtown." That's eight square miles. Did you get that? Because it's going to come up again in a minute. As Curtis hangs up, he's approached by DoDder, who wants the latest word from Kiefer and Grayadder. But of course there's no news from them, because Kiefer lacked the foresight to take an empty soup can and a really long string with him when he left CTU six hours ago. The last Curtis heard, Kiefer and Grayadder had found something potentially incriminating at MacGuffin Factories. DoDder and Curtis figure that the EMP means that MF probably has something to hide, but Curtis says it's not proof. I'd like to point out that it's proof that MF did millions if not billions of dollars in damage to the surrounding area, in what amounts to one of the biggest acts of vandalism in history, but what do I know? DoDder asks whether the pulse bomb could have injured either of her suitors, but Curtis assures us that the EMP only damages electronics. "But it doesn't mean they're safe," he warns. Especially if Grayadder is actually a Cylon.
When Curtis is right, he's right. In a darkened office bay of MF HQ, poor Grayadder is undergoing his second torture session of the day, this time at the hands of a couple of uniformed MF guards. Man, he's totally this season's Poor Man's Mena Suvari, isn't he? Dumped, cuckolded, emotionally fucked with, knocked unconscious, half-stripped, soaked, accused, insulted, electrocuted, and curb-stomped all in one day. And of course we're not finished with him yet, but I'm getting ahead of myself. Old MFer is supervising the beating, demanding to know where Grayadder hid the printout. Grayadder isn't saying a word. Actually, that's not true. He's saying a number of variations of the word "ow." I assume they already searched Grayadder, even though he's still dressed and there doesn't appear to be poo on anyone's hands (Yep. Went there). Old MFer gets bored, or has a meeting to go to, or something, so he tells the two guards, "Call me if he talks," and leaves. I assume by "call me" he means "yell."
And now we see that Kiefer is hiding behind a nearby support pillar, either enjoying the chance to let someone else beat up his girlfriend's husband for a change, or planning Grayadder's rescue. Nah, probably not that. He scampers off. Hey, Kiefer, where are you going? Maybe the guards will castrate him, and you won't want to miss that.