24
Day 4: 8:00 AM – 9:00 AM

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Suddenly, Napster Doesn't Seem So Bad

Back at the house, Clean0Cut Minion snaps his phone-phreaking briefcase shut and grabs a snapshot of Witless and MamaWitless off a table. I hope that's a recent picture, because MamaWitless isn't going to be in any more photo sessions, what with that large gash in her throat leaking onto her hardwood floor. As Clean-Cut Minion leaves the house, he calls TerrorDad on the phone to update him on the sitch. TerrorDad's instructions: find Witless, find out who he's talked to, and then kill him. As TerrorDad hangs up, we see that he's looking inside the Briefcase that was stolen from the train. We can't see what's in it, but it doesn't appear to be glowing. TerrorDad shuts the case reverently as TerrorMom approaches, confirming that "everything" is "in there." She puts her hands on the closed case, offering to deliver it to "Omar" herself. She looks like she just wants a little alone time with it, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. TerrorDad wants to stick with the plan. "This is the key to everything we're doing today," TerrorMom coos. "It's a lot to entrust to an idiot." Or maybe she says "teenager." TerrorDad reminds her that their whereabouts have to be accounted for today and that TerrorTeen is the chosen courier because of the unlikelihood that he'll attract suspicion. TerrorDad assures her that everything is going as planned, that "Omar" is "happy" and "knows" that TerrorTeen will "deliver" the "device" and that TerrorTeen will be "fine." TerrorMom sweeps her Manson Lamps all over the set like a pair of searchlights during an air raid while TerrorDad moves in for the kiss-kiss.

8:12:30. At CTU, the violent kidnapping of a Cabinet member can only mean one thing: meeting! Special Agent Breck is working on finding a connection between the train bombing and the abduction by going through a list of passenger names. Driscoll asks if it's possible that DiCK had anything to do with it. Curtis uses his last breath to explain that they're not ruling anything out, then collapses from anaphylactic shock brought on by an allergic reaction to concrete. Kiefer walks right into the meeting and asks to speak with Driscoll privately. I think a certain redshirt is going to get a black mark on his annual review. Driscoll passes out assignments and clears out the conference room. Once she's alone with Kiefer, he lowers the boom: "I have information that you ignored that appears to be connected not only to the bombing but to the abduction of DaD as well." Driscoll smoothly tells him that she passed along Witless's lead to the FBI. Kiefer reminds her that that was against CTU protocol, and now all of Witless's coworkers are dead. Driscoll takes this in and calmly assures Kiefer that they'll take the lead back. Kiefer's like, nuh-uh, I'm bringing Witless in because I'm the only one who knows where he is: "If you want that kid picked up, you're going to have to reinstate me." Driscoll tells Kiefer she's going to have him locked up for impeding the investigation. Kiefer says if she does, he'll tattle to the president about her failure to break TerrorTurk for an hour before DaD's abduction. "Are you threatening me, Kiefer?" she asks threateningly. Kiefer's says that he's just asking her to let him help. She turns away, takes a moment, and shakes her head in frustration. Right here is when I start feeling kind of bad for this actress, because it's obvious that nobody on the show has yet decided what her character is going to turn out to be -- is she incompetent? Is she evil? Is she a mole? Is she really well-intentioned but just misunderstood? Is she a paper towel or isn't she? So as a result, they can't let her commit to a specific direction, and being stuck on dead center is making her come off as having this weird lack of affect. It's annoying, but I don't think it's her fault. ["Also, give the lady a hot oil. Good or evil, she's got some dry ends." -- Sars] Anyway, she turns back to Kiefer and lays out her terms: he's going to be working under Kiefer 2.0 temporarily, until DaD is safe, and then she's handing him over to Division. It's 8:14:52.

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