Day 4: 8:00 AM – 9:00 AM

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: C+ | Grade It Now!
Suddenly, Napster Doesn't Seem So Bad

Kiefer 2.0 signs out a weapon at the counter, while Famous Original Kiefer dumps his garment bag there to be checked. Kiefer has changed out of his suit and into more casual clothes, including a five-eighths-length coat that has the unfortunate effect of making him look even shorter. As if putting him next to Kiefer 2.0 wasn't bad enough. Kiefer 2.0 tells Kiefer that he doesn't agree with Driscoll's decision, and that he's going to be giving the orders. Kiefer agrees, and explains why he busted in on Kiefer 2.0's questioning and maimed his suspect earlier. "Apology accepted," Kiefer 2.0 says, "but if you try to exceed my authority again I will stop you cold." He holds Kiefer's upturned gaze for a moment, then walks on. Kiefer watches expressionlessly, then scurries on his bitty little legs to catch up. Okay, I'll stop now. It's 8:27:24.

8:31:37. Throngs crowd Union Station, minions patrol the TerrorDome, and the Kiefers are on the road. Kiefer is in the shotgun seat and on the phone with the Pentagon, presumably, asking them to send all of DaD's death threats to CTU for analysis. After he hangs up, Kiefer 2.0 asks if DaD gets a lot of death threats. Kiefer blows the question off. Kiefer 2.0 asks about working in DC. Kiefer blows that off too, as well as the next question. "Hey, man, I'm just trying to make some conversation," Kiefer 2.0 finally says. Kiefer would apparently just as soon Kiefer 2.0 made some monologue. But Kiefer 2.0 asks Kiefer about his feelings when Driscoll fired him. Kiefer maintains that Driscoll did him a favor, because he wanted to get his life back. Kiefer 2.0 asks how that's working out. "Yeah, I got a life," Kiefer whispers, looking at the half of the split screen that's now occupied by a caged DoDder.

It's 8:33:15. DaD and DoDder languish in their chain-link cell. DaD, his tie unknotted, tries to reassure a clearly stressed DoDder. He figures that since Kiefer tried to warn them, he must have a reliable source, which means their chances are good. DoDder doesn't seem too reassured. DaD sits her down and exhorts her to think positive: "Say it. We will be rescued." She says it, and manages a small smile. He kisses her on the forehead. Right on cue, the head of the kidnapping crew has the guards open the cell door. "Take off your clothes," he says to DaD. "You first," DaD says cheerily. Kidnapper repeats the order. DaD sighs, slips the tie from around his neck, slowly and carefully folds it into a square, and flings it at Kidnapper's chest. "Go to hell," he says. I guess only he gets to provoke the kidnappers. Duly provoked, they storm into the cell amid the sound of ripping cloth. That was a nice suit, too.

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