24
Day 4: 8:00 PM – 9:00 PM

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: C+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
In-fil-tra-tion. Ready? Begin!

At CTU, Soul Patch says, "This is taking too long." And indeed, it's been almost a minute. Lispy Skip spots the TerrorTaurus exiting the tunnel on the satellite screen. On the ground, Poor Man's D. B. Sweeney and his partner resume the pursuit. The TerrorTaurus loops around on another street, which raises concerns at CTU that TerrorProf is driving in a circle. Soul Patch asks Potato Face to switch to an infrared satellite view. Potato Face quickly complies. The infrared view of the TerrorTaurus shows one bright blob of heat inside the car, which tells them that he's alone. It also tells me that TerrorProf's car has no engine or exhaust system, and that none of the surrounding cars do either. In fact, they don't even have drivers. But Bitchelle isn't worried about the Rapture now; she's more worried about the fact that the passengers have been offloaded in the tunnel. She announces that covert time is over and instructs Poor Man's D.B. Sweeney and the other teams to move in on the TerrorTaurus, as well as set up a perimeter around the tunnel to stop and search all exiting vehicles. Soul Patch tells Potato Face to look back at minute-old satellite footage to see what happened, but it's going to take her a few minutes to pull up. In the meantime, the TerrorTaurus is being cut off on a bridge. It comes to a stop, surrounded. Agents get out of their cars and move in, ordering TerrorProf out of the car. But he's just sitting there, holding a small device in his hand and making a martyr face. Clearly, he's just waiting for as many guys as possible to get close enough to be killed by the bomb in the silver briefcase next to him. Which he triggers. CTU agents go flying.

At first I was like, "Dude, that guy killed himself so ImhoTerror could meet his hostage?" But then I realized that they know CTU is onto TerrorProf, so he would have been brought in for questioning either way. I guess this means no Chubby Rain II: The Chubbening.

At CTU, the image of the bridge on the big screen shows a fireball where the TerrorTaurus used to be. Quiet consternation reigns on the floor as the next frame a couple of seconds later shows a black cloud of smoke. "ImhoTerror set us up," Bitchelle says. Um, no, he didn't. He saw right through Kiefer's dumb-ass plan to get to him, just as I could have told you he would. It's 8:50:37.

8:55:02. The TerrorTaurus burns, TerrorTeen frets, and Bitchelle and Potato Face are back together again. A CTU agent rolls over Poor Man's D.B. Sweeney and calls Soul Patch to report the agent's death, as well as that of TerrorProf. Yeah, that's the guy I want as my backup in a dicey operation: the guy who waits for five minutes after I've been blown up to bother finding out if I'm dead. He asks if there's any sign of Kiefer yet. Soul Patch says there isn't, and he promises a new backup team ASAP. I think of that line in Die Hard: "We're going to need some new FBI guys." Meanwhile, Soul Patch is approaching Potato Face's computer, where Bitchelle is instructing her to play back the footage she pulled up from a few minutes ago. Lucky for them, only three vehicles left the tunnel during the time the TerrorTaurus was inside. Soul Patch tells her to focus on the big white van. She can't get a license number from the satellite, but she can using footage from the traffic camera inside the tunnel. Why they didn't catch the switch on the traffic cams in real time is beyond me, but whatever. In any case, Potato Face is able to magically magnify and enhance the image of the van enough to read the license plate, but not before putting out my eye with her grinning, pointy teeth. At Bitchelle's order, Soul Patch calls in the van's ID.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12Next

24

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP