Kiefer, meanwhile, is offering TerrorMom freedom and witness protection. Apparently he doesn't need the President's approval any more. "I'm offering you a life with your son. Right now the only question is, which life do you want?" She doesn't say anything. "We're out of time," he says, and gets up to leave. "What do you need me to do?" she asks, stopping him. That works on her every time. People should just walk out on her right at the beginning of negotiations and save a lot of effort. Kiefer says he wants her to go to TerrorProf and say she needs to see ImhoTerror. She says it won't work, but Kiefer says it will if she says she has a hostage. "A hostage?" TerrorMom asks in wide-eyed confusion. "Who?" "Me," Kiefer says, surprising no one. It's 8:13:24.
8:17:45. DoDder paces the floor outside the clinic, TerrorMom awaits her fate, and so does TerrorTeen. Poor Man's Poor Man's Eric Stoltz, now in his uniform shirt and tie, asks NotMandy what's going on. She doesn't know and doesn't care; she just does her job (and her victims) and gets her checks. She hears a car pull up outside and turns her back on him long enough to peer through the venetian blinds. Poor Man's Poor Man's Eric Stoltz takes the opportunity to try to rush her with the room service cart, but she beats him down and ends up on top of him, holding a table knife to his neck. Nice to see a member of the United States military getting spanked by a member of the International Sisterhood of Mercenary Hos. She threatens, "If you don't cooperate, your family will die. Do you understand?" There's a brisk knock on the hotel room door. NotMandy admits Poor Man's Eric Stoltz, who points his gun at his doppelganger and hands ImhoTerror's satchel to NotMandy. "It's all there," he tells her. "Now get out of here." She does. "Get your things," Poor Man's Eric Stoltz says. "You've got a plane to catch." By which he of course means, "You have a half hour to live." Whoops, did I just drop another spoiler?
8:19:12. Bitchelle has called a meeting at CTU to explain the plan to get to ImhoTerror via TerrorProf via UndercoverTerrorMom. Curtis points out that ImhoTerror already knows that TerrorMom's been nabbed. Bitchelle hands the floor over to Kiefer to explain the cover story, which goes thusly: Kiefer was transporting TerrorMom when his vehicle was attacked by surviving members of TerrorDad's cell at the intersection of Sepulveda and National an hour ago. I'm surprised they're using an intersection that actually exists, but I'm not surprised that it's one that throws my CTU triangulation project completely out of whack again by being way the hell down by Culver City and yet still less than ten minutes away. But back to the cover story: Kiefer killed or wounded all of the terrorists (believable), but TerrorMom was able to get a weapon and take him hostage (less believable). To sum up: "TerrorMom will take me to TerrorProf; hopefully he'll take me to ImhoTerror." Am I the only one who spots the flaw in the cover story? Namely, that it's predicated upon the supposed actions of people who work for the guy they're trying to fool? Whatever. Kiefer always gets stupid when he's feeling guilty, and this is no exception. As Kiefer and Soul Patch point out, they have to assume that Kiefer and TerrorMom will be searched, which means no tracking or homing devices on their persons. CTU agents will have to listen in from a distance using "satellite, parabolics, and laser aggregators." I assume this means "microphones." Curtis asks if TerrorMom will be able to pull it off. "Well," Kiefer snarks, "she's managed to live here in the United States for the past five years while part of a terrorist cell undetected. Yes. She's an expert at deception." "As long as she doesn't deceive us," Curtis says. Smart guy. Kiefer has no answer to that. Bitchelle says that since Kiefer's going to be in extreme and immediate danger, there is "zero tolerance for error." Kiefer wishes everyone (and by extension, himself) good luck as the meeting breaks up.
Bitchelle tells Curtis to head over to Division and head up the interrogation of the surviving MFers. So that's it for Curtis this week, I guess. Welcome to regular cast status, Roger Cross. Now get out. Soul Patch, in turn, stops Lispy Skip and instructs him to have the LAPD and CalTrans alter their logs to indicate that the fictional ambush took place. Lispy Skip asks for an exact time window, and Soul Patch, annoyed, tells him that they just said it was an hour ago. Skip defensives that he didn't know if there was new information (since ten seconds ago?) and Soul Patch accuses Skip of not having paid attention. He tells him that they can't afford for Skip to "lose focus." Skip bitches, "I'm sick of people talking to me like I don't know what I'm doing. Expecially [sic] people who don't really work here." He exits, and Bitchelle steps up, asking if there's a problem. Dude, you were standing right there. Soul Patch, fortunately, knows all about Skip's history with his mom, but he's worried that it's "catching up with them." Bitchelle asks if Skip is going to be able to handle the operation. Soul Patch doesn't. Bitchelle asks where Potato Face is. Of course Bitchelle doesn't know about Potato Face's dismissal, but here's a thought: it's almost 8:30 at night. Maybe she went home. Soul Patch also somehow has the whole scoop on why Potato Face is gone as well. I don't know when he had time to catch up on all the gossip. But someone had to, since Lispy Skip is now the only CTU employee in the building who's been there all day. Bitchelle thanks Soul Patch and goes out to the floor to call Potato Face at home.