Day 5: 12:00 AM – 1:00 AM

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B+ | Grade It Now!
Tale of the Tape

Outside, the guard is just coming back for another peek inside the window. Audrey sees him and, with perfect timing, says, "Jack." Kiefer hurls the door open, throwing the guard to the floor and bashing him unconscious before taking his gun. He tells Audrey, "He's got restraints in his pocket. Secure him." And Kiefer runs off into a commercial at 12:48:12. He's going to regret leaving Audrey alone and unarmed, methinks. Unless there are a lot of restraints in that pocket, and you can put them on someone else from far away.

Commercials. Finally, Lexus has built a car that can outrun fire. That'll be handy on my morning commute. I'm always getting to my desk and fire's already there. Stupid fire.

It's 12:52:24. The other Secret Service guy on Heller's security detail -- the one Kiefer didn't knock out before the commercial break -- is just now climbing out of Air Force Seven. What he was doing in there, I have no idea. He calls his partner on his walkie-talkie, and when he gets no response, he draws his weapon and starts walking towards the hangar. But he doesn't get far before Kiefer, standing under the wing, orders, "Don't move." He gets the guy to slide his gun to Kiefer across the tarmac. Both weapons secured, Kiefer now demands the Logan recording and tells the guy to stand up. "What'd you do to my partner?" the guard asks, and all Kiefer can say is that "He's fine" before the sound of Henderson's helicopter breaks the moment. He tells the guard, "Take cover behind the wheel, now! Move!" Someone's already firing at them from the chopper, even before it's landed. So much for escaping in Air Force Seven, I guess. Kiefer takes cover behind the other wheel and returns fire as the helicopter sets down. Over the noise from the rotors, Heller's guard asks what's going on, and Kiefer yells back, "They've come for the recording. If you and I are going to get through this, we're going to have to work together!" And then he shoots the first two guys out of the helicopter with no difficulty whatsoever. Kiefer and his false modesty. The guard asks for his gun back. Kiefer hesitates, as though he didn't just suggest this very thing, but quickly returns the guard's weapon. They both start shooting back at the henchmen who are providing covering fire for Henderson's entry into the hangar. Uh-oh. Heller's guard drops under machine-gun fire, so Kiefer crawls up to him, reloads from the dead guy's ammunition, and shoots some more. So what he really meant a second ago was, "If I'm going to get through this, we're going to have to work together." By this time, all of the henchmen have taken up position next to a jet fuel tanker trailer, which is incredibly stupid of them and handy for Kiefer; he simply shoots the trailer, blowing it the fuck up and roasting Henderson's guys alive. It's so hard to get good help these days. Fast and available, yes; good, not so much. Henderson's guys have the survival skills of a lemming and the aim of Elmer Fudd. Kiefer's path to the hangar is now clear, and he runs off in that direction in pursuit of Henderson. Who's probably inside asking Audrey out for coffee or something.

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