Day 5: 12:00 AM – 1:00 AM

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B+ | Grade It Now!
Tale of the Tape

Riding along in his military transport, the aforementioned General -- fully armored and helmeted, like some kind of micromanager -- takes Novick's call at 12:22:13. Novick asks how their search for Kiefer is going, and the general cheerfully responds that he has no idea what Novick's talking about, since Logan didn't assign it to them. Novick hangs up, looking more worried than ever.

And into Logan's office he goes, where he finds his boss sitting on a low couch with his head in his hands. Novick suggests Logan get some rest. Logan says that's a good idea, like we ever see him actually doing anything during the beginnings of his scenes, the ends of his scenes, or during the split-screens. The middles of his scenes must be really tiring or something. Logan asks Novick what he wants. Novick carefully says he just got off the phone with General Warren, who knows nothing about any arrest warrant for Kiefer, despite Hayes having told Novick that the military was on the case at Logan's orders. Logan's getting pretty pissy about being questioned, but Novick deferentially -- and of course there's a mighty fine line between "deferential" and "passive-aggressive" when you're addressing the President of the United States -- presses the point. Logan says he went not through General Warren, but through a "covert task force," due to the fact that Kiefer's continued existence may prove awkward for the U.S. government if the Chinese government finds out about it. Which is a good, if completely made-up, point. But Novick asks if it wouldn't have been a better idea to "keep the circle smaller" on the Kiefer thing. So Logan retreats back into defensive mode, complaining that he thinks he's done a "pretty damn good job" of dealing with the day's crises. Which isn't even very true if you don't know those crises were of Logan's own invention. Seriously, his main crisis-management act of the day was to put CTU under the control of a guy who promptly cracked and then got half the place killed. Rather than stating as much, Novick backs off. Logan gets "conciliatory" again as he announces that he will be following one of Novick's recommendations: he's going to get some [more] rest. And with that, Novick is dismissed. It's 12:25:52.

12:30:03. Chloe's stewing alone in her holding room, until Slime comes in. As he tucks the keycard he used on the door into his front suit pocket, he tells Chloe that they traced her call to Van Nuys Airport, and if Audrey is there, Chloe's in some deep shit. Chloe tries to appeal to Slime's nonexistent sense of fair play, saying there's more to the situation than he realizes. So he asks her to tell him what's going on, which I think is his actual reason for coming in here. In addition to the gloating, of course. But she simply folds her arms and refuses to share. That pisses him off, and he gets up in her face to bitch, "You think the rules don't apply to you because you're smarter than the rest of us. Well, I have news for you. They do. And you're not. I won't miss you when you're gone." He turns to leave, but Chloe runs up behind him and grabs him by the right shoulder. At the same time, she reaches around his left and snatches his keycard out of his suit pocket. He whirls to his right, snapping, "Don't touch me!" Chloe freezes, wondering if she actually got away with it. I'm wondering how she got away with it, considering the brisk whoosh that accompanied the keycard leaving his pocket, but then in real time they have to make sure it's clear what happened the first time; no slo-mo zoom-ins or "here's what really happened" flashbacks allowed. Slime asks what Chloe wants, and she says Kiefer didn't kill Palmer. But Slime is unimpressed, what with Kiefer being a federal fugitive and all. "You're going to jail, O'Brian. For a long time." Slime starts to leave again, but Chloe has one more thing to say: "I don't think you're as big a jerk as you pretend to be." Okay, now she's just fucking with him. To his credit, he knows it.

On his way out the door, Slime for some reason has to talk to the guard outside. In a separate room. So Chloe takes advantage of this incredibly convenient and timely distraction to use Slime's keycard to open the door at 12:31:46, scoop up her laptop, and leave the holding area entirely. But she doesn't get very far down the hallway before she runs into Shari, who wants to know why Chloe's out and about. Chloe says Slime let her go, and Shari walks right over to a wall phone, saying, "You're a worse liar than I am." Except Shari's a good liar, as we now know. Otherwise that would have been a good line. Chloe tries to convince her not to blow the whistle, saying she had a good reason for helping Audrey, which she can't get into right now. "I don't really think you have a choice," Shari says, so Chloe says she needs to help Kiefer prove who really killed Palmer, which she can't do from a cell. Shari tells her to tell Hayes, but Chloe says nobody will believe her without evidence. And as if to prove it, she says, "It's President Logan." Turns out she's right; Shari doesn't believe her. She reaches for the phone again, so Chloe gets personal: "Your sexual harassment charges against Miles? I know you lied." She threatens to blow the whistle on Shari, which would for some reason subject Shari to a psychological evaluation. "You won't like that, trust me," Chloe threatens, which makes it sound like she's been through a few of those herself. And that's all it takes for Shari to hang up the phone and let Chloe go. Weak. But then, it's usually a lot harder than this to blackmail someone you met three hours ago.

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