Day 5: 12:00 AM – 1:00 AM

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B+ | Grade It Now!
Tale of the Tape

It's 12:45:22 as a small SUV pulls up outside a rather hideous suburban house. The James Bond electric guitar from last week starts up again as Chloe climbs out. Where the hell did she get that car? And how is she getting past checkpoints without a pass on the dashboard? In any case, she runs up to the front door. Buchanan is inside, watching her trot up, and he opens the door before she can even knock. "Get in here," he orders, and she complies. Whoa, are we about to see a little Buchloe action? He does look almost naked without his suit coat and tie, although only his top shirt button is undone. Neither of them has talked to Kiefer or Audrey, and Chloe worries that CTU might have nabbed them. She asks to be shown to Buchanan's workstation, and he says that Homeland Security changed his access codes. Chloe's not too worried about it as she unshoulders her laptop bag and sheds her coat. "I can create a workaround," she says breezily, ignoring Buchanan's look that says, You mean do something not only incredibly illegal but also traceable to my IP address. "If CTU has Jack," she drama-queens, "it's all my fault." I don't see Wayne. He must be in bed already. Or maybe he just broke into the house next door.

FLOTUS is waiting all by herself outside what I assume is Not Camp David's south stable. I can tell by the modern sculpture featuring a horse head that's attached to the end of the building. Either that or a spontaneous production of Equus is about to break out. FLOTUS gets tired of waiting and whips out her cell phone. We get a nice, clear shot of her directory, which has "Mike Novick" listed right above "Mom." Aw. But she's more interested in the number right above "Press Secretary," i.e. "Pierce, Aaron." She dials the number. And a second later, she hears another cell phone ringing nearby. She walks around the bench and picks the phone up out of the grass. Sure enough, the display on the other phone shows that a call is coming in from none other than Martha Logan. Ye gods, what happened to Aaron? We won't find out this hour. We also won't find out why FLOTUS has a cell phone with a California area code, or why it's the same number as Debbie's mom from last season. FLOTUS looks around, confused and scared. And I find myself worried about Aaron. That lipless gnome has grown on me.

In the storage room at Van Nuys Airport, Kiefer and Audrey are vainly trying to break their black plastic restraints. Then Kiefer looks up at some pipes running along the ceiling, one of which is labeled "HOT RETURN." "I can get us out of here," he whispers. I can't believe it took him this long to notice. As one of Heller's guards finishes peeking in through the small window in the door, he tells Audrey to keep a lookout. He stands up, sliding his restrained wrists up the column as he climbs up onto the pipes running along the wall. He reaches the hot ceiling pipe and presses his wrists against it, hoping to melt the plastic. And from the pained expression on his face, he's not being too cautious about protecting his wrists in the process. Dude, careful! You're probably going to need those later. Smoke pours forth, and you know Audrey has just got to be thrilled at being trapped in a small room with the smell of burning plastic and burning Kiefer. Finally the restraint snaps. Not bothering with the black plastic loop around his left wrist, which is going to make him look like he just escaped from some nihilist hospital for the rest of the season, he grabs a handy pair of cutting pliers off a workbench and frees Audrey.

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