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Day 5: 2:00 AM – 3:00 AM

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
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High Jack

2:29:54. Novick returns to the FLOTUSuite with a payload of sweet, sweet drugs for the First Lady. He tries to play pharmacist (or TV commercial) with his little disclaimers, but she just snatches the bottle out of his hand and tries to blow him off, washing down a fistful with a big swig of red wine. Is that a good idea? Seems like while the pills will make her feel less crazy, the downside is that the red wine will cause her to be irresistibly attracted to Chloe. Novick watches disapprovingly, and she turns back to him, asking if there's anything else. She's actually less subtle than Mr. Subliminal as her tone indicates that there'd better fucking not be. Novick tries again to get her to tell him what's wrong, but she's a little more in control of herself now that the alcohol and crazy pills are working their "real-time" magic. Novick says he suspects that the Logans are covering something up, and FLOTUS gets off a good line when she points out, "You know, Mike, I'm the one around here that's supposed to be paranoid, not you." Novick makes the mistake of saying that Logan pleaded "marital difficulties," which even I know that if you're trying to catch two people in a lie, you don't tell one what the other is telling you, because they'll run with it. And that's just what FLOTUS does. Novick gives up. For now. Just as well, because he sucks at this.

At 2:31:52, up in the plane, Meyer is getting a little shirty with Kiefer as Kiefer rifles through Meyer's shirts. By the way, Kiefer, I believe it's considered etiquette to repack when you're finished. Meyer is still insisting that he's innocent, and that witnesses can confirm he was brought directly to the airport from the German Consulate in Los Angeles. I'm inclined to believe Meyer, but let's hope for the German Consul's sake that they don't send Kiefer to corroborate his story. And even Kiefer begins to suspect that he's made a huge mistake when Chloe calls him up and says, "I don't think Hans Meyer is our guy." She reports that Meyer was in customs for three hours before the flight, which means he couldn't have met up with Henderson to receive the recording. Three hours? Damn, what is that guy carrying into Germany? Hasselhoff DNA? Before Kiefer can do more than huff frustratedly at his mortifying faux pas, the plane goes into a sharp bank. He quickly realizes that this means the aircraft is turning around, which in turn means that the crew knows they've got an unauthorized passenger. He hangs up, telling Chloe to keep looking. He returns to the hatch in the ceiling, probably planning to return to the cabin so he can start dragging passengers down there with him at random. But the hatch is now just as immovable as it really should have been to begin with.

Up top, Sue and Avila are crouched over the hatch, which they've locked from above. Avila's confident that Kiefer's down there: "There's nowhere else he can be," he says. I don't know, have you checked the overhead bins? Kiefer's pretty little. Maybe the seat pockets? But Avila says, "Tell the pilot he can do it." The flight attendant protests that Kiefer has a hostage down there who could die. "There's over fifty passengers up here," Avila insists. "Call him now!" Shakily, Sue picks up the phone to the cockpit, telling the captain to "begin." Wow, you can jettison luggage from a passenger liner? If so, Kiefer and Meyer had better grab onto a cargo net.

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