24

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M. Giant: C | Grade It Now!
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Husbands And Wives

6:44:44. In Buchanan's office, Nadia reports that Doyle and his men can be inside the Consulate in fifteen minutes. Buchanan says that it's going to come down to the wire, and explains that while Logan was able to convince Martha to call Anya, Anya's busy giving a speech in Omsk. At 7:45 in the morning. What the hell is wrong with Russian people? Nadia still thinks it's going to take Anya a while to convince Suvarov to change his mind. Buchanan agrees that it's a long shot. But the important thing is that we got to sit through yet another explanation of what people are trying to do this hour.

Meanwhile, Chloe's out on the floor and on the phone with Logan, who's bitching that they need to have someone interrupt Anya's speech. "It's Russian politics, there's nothing we can do," Chloe says, fulfilling her traditional role as the voice of restraint and decorum. Logan has to let it go for now, and hangs up. Martha is stressing out about how long this is taking. Logan sits on the couch across from her and Aaron and apologizes. "The last thing I wanted to do was upset you," he says. "You always manage to get to that last thing," Martha points out, and she's not wrong. With a few minutes to kill (and something else, but we're getting ahead of ourselves), she decides to spend some quality time trying to fuck with Logan's head. She asks whether it bothers Logan to see her with Aaron, much to Aaron's embarrassment. Logan admits that it does, and then she asks if he shouldn't be happy for her in light of his big change. He says that's true too. She gets up and goes into the kitchen, slicing up the kiwi with a lot more energy than is necessary, going on about how awesome Aaron is, especially in contrast to Logan, "the president of the universe, the great leader, the murderer!" Aaron tells Martha not to get herself "all stirred up." She comes back with the bowl of kiwi that she sliced the fuck out of at 6:47:23 as Aaron offers to let Logan wait outside. Logan politely declines. Back on the couch, Martha glares balefully at Logan as a crazy-lady violin lick graces the soundtrack warningly. Logan then thanks Aaron for being there for Martha. His being nice just provokes Martha even further, to the point where she throws fruit at him. Aaron tells her to take a chill pill already, and she gathers up the plates and the paring knife on the coffee table, preparing to return them to the kitchen. Then, as she passes behind Logan, she stops, and the paring knife introduced in the fourth act goes off in the fourth: she turns and plunges it into Logan's shoulder. The soundtrack freaks out along with Aaron, who's pretty slow in coming out of his seat for being ex-Secret Service. Maybe he retired because that rocket attack from last season left him with too much lead in his ass. Logan is left to pull the knife out of his own shoulder as everyone dithers around uselessly, their hands full with restraining Martha while Aaron finally joins him and hollers for a medic. Martha has a meltdown of her own as Logan leans his head back, getting a pretty good start on bleeding out from that dinky little knife hole. It's 6:48:52.

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24

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