24
Day 6: 7:00 AM – 8:00 AM

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M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
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The Odd Couple

Back in the Oval Office, Buchanan's on speakerphone to break the news to Wayne and his staff that none of the bodies in the house they blew up belonged to Assad. Not even half of one. General consternation ensues. Karen thinks that someone warned Assad, and Tom speculates that Fayed gave them bad intel in the first place. Whatever the case, Assad's still alive. Buchanan says that he'll have his guys set up a ten-block perimeter in case Assad's still in the area. Wayne manages not to laugh directly at the speaker at this latest mention of a CTU "perimeter," politely ending the call instead. He's still pissed that Assad survived, though. He asks Tom what Assad's next move will be. Tom thinks Assad will definitely respond. Whoa, crazy talk! Don't go too far out on that limb, Nostradamus! Wayne slumps into his chair to have himself a Presidential Pout.

At some warehouse somewhere, Fayed's van pulls into the building, and he and his armed henchmen get out and walk briskly to a back area. Some guys meet him there, and Fayed tells one of them at 7:25:26 that Ahmed "will have the package soon." He asks whether someone is ready, and gets confirmation that the person in question has been waiting. And with that, a man standing in the room turns to face Fayed, wearing suit pants, a wifebeater, and several bricks of C-4 around his abdomen. Fayed gives the suicide bomber an emotional little pep talk, kisses him on both cheeks, and arms the device. It's 7:26:54. I assume that the suicide bomber leaves during the commercial instead of blowing up Fayed.

7:31:22. In an outstanding bit of good fortune, Kiefer and his little party have found a house where people are loading up a U-Haul and driving off, which of course means that the house will be empty now. This is either a very lucky stroke, or Kiefer used his stolen Nextel phone to check online real estate listings. I look at my cell phone, which looks back at me, all, "Shut up." Inside, the house's former tenants turn out to be shitty movers, because there are still boxes and random furniture all over. They haven't even taken down the American flag they're using as a window blind. Maybe they'll be back. Assad dumps his henchman, now unconscious, into a chair as Kiefer warns him that CTU is going to keep looking for Assad when they realize he's alive. One more reason not to hang out here indefinitely. Assad darkly says that he only needs a few minutes to find out from his traitorous henchman where Fayed is, as Kiefer loots a moving box for a change of clothes. Kiefer confirms once again that Assad is planning to disarm and start negotiations with the West. Silhouetted in front of that American flag, Assad says that Fayed is the only one still standing in the way of his plan. Assad trails off as Kiefer takes off his shirt, forgetfully revealing the shocking damage to his back. Kiefer turns, embarrassed, and then ducks into the bathroom for a little privacy. Assad makes a "what the hell?" face. Perhaps he's thinking he's going to have to go be gentle with his fingernails when the time comes.

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