Day 8: 12:00 AM –1:00 AM

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M. Giant: A- | Grade It Now!
Uranium? MY-ranium!

Just then is when Chloe decides to stick her head in. Hastings snaps at her that they're busy, but this seems like kind of a priority: Farhad Hassan is calling. She has voiceprint confirmation and everything. If we didn't know better, I'd suspect Chloe of only having one voiceprint in her system that causes her to identify every incoming caller as Farhad Hassan, which might make for some awkward moments when Morris calls from home: "Hello, dahling, I was just wondering if I might trouble you to pop in at the market to pick up a few items on the way home." "Oh, my God, Farhad Hassan is at my house!" Anyway, Hastings gestures for Chloe to put him through on his desk speakerphone, which she does. "Mr. Hassan, this is Brian Hastings, director of CTU," Hastings says, rather politely considering he's talking to someone who personally killed one of his agents about five and a half hours ago. Lying on the ground, trying to stay out of sight, Farhad pants that he's being chased by the people who have the rods. It's news to Hastings that anyone but Farhad even has them. "They turned against me," Farhad says. "They have their own plan. An attack on New York." And he says it's coming soon. Hastings asks for names, like that's the priority right now, but Farhad wants to be gotten out of there first so he can tell them everything. The new and improved CTU must really have gotten the word out on its new no-torture policy, or else Farhad would probably just be killing himself right now. Hastings promises to get Farhad out and asks where he is. "Forest Hills...some kind of boat warehouse," Farhad says. He asks them to hurry, since he's hurt. Hastings tells him to stay on the line -- even though it's secure and they can't trace it -- and tells Chloe to get Cole. Chloe says she can't, since his team came back without him. "Owen said he was following a lead." So Hastings decides to put Owen in charge of extracting Farhad. Chloe has her doubts. "Just do it, Chloe," Hastings says. I can't believe I don't have a macro for that phrase yet. Suddenly seeming to remember that Kiefer's still sitting on his couch, Hastings tells him he's going to be processed out of the building. "Fine," Kiefer grumps, like it's a terrible inconvenience for him to be allowed to walk out of here after assaulting two people. Not that I'm thinking we've seen the last of Kristin Smith. He leaves Hastings' office at 12:42:15, shaking off the hand of the guard waiting outside to escort him. The guard should probably tase him again just for good measure.

In Central Park, Dana's moment seems to be approaching. As she watches, the side door on Kevin's van slides open, and out tumble the strippers, having had enough of freakshow Nick. They don't even want a ride back, because Nick's just that much of a charmer. "Goodnight, ladies," Kevin calls after them, while Nick comes out and stumbles around with his pants undone. While he heads over to the Reservoir to piss in it, Dana picks up her gun and gets out of the car, her hair now knotted into a ponytail. She starts the long walk over to the van, her face broadcasting murderous intent. Hey, don't the guys get points for not bringing the strippers back to her place? Before Dana gets very close, she's pinned by a pair of headlights as Cole's CTUmobile screeches to a stop behind her. Each of them angrily wonders what the other is doing here. "We're in the middle of an operation, Dana, you can't just abandon your post!" Cole lectures. Dana says she can explain, but Cole starts dragging her toward the truck, saying they can "deal with our personal problems after we've secured the nuclear materials." Dana says it's not what he thinks: "I am not sleeping with him." She refuses to leave with Cole. "If I leave, this will never end." Cole asks what, and Dana argues with him before finally giving in over the course of a nice, long, expressive moment that really just makes me pissed off that Katee Sackhoff is being wasted in this ridiculous subplot. They both get into the CTUmobile, Cole giving the van a long look before he joins her inside and tells her to start talking. Which she does: "My name is not Dana Walsh. It's Jenny Scott." Tell it to the previouslies freeze-frames. It's 12:45:07.

At 12:49:25, Farhad is still hiding out, his phone still to his ear, as the guys with flashlights on their guns close in. At their head, Ali answers his ringing cell phone. It's Samir, asking if they found Farhad yet. "I injured him badly. He won't get far," Ali assures Samir. Samir tells him they're moving the rods to a secure location, and Ali needs to hang back and find Farhad. Ali doesn't seem to be pleased with this assignment. I guess he'd rather fuck around with poisonous metal than chase after a gimped-up little weasel

On the CTU floor, Arlo has pulled up an overhead view of the complex, which is "a six acre warehouse complex in Forest Hills. Farhad is somewhere in one of these buildings." Of which there are eight, plus he's actually outside, so this search is already not looking particularly blessed. He adds that the rods must also be there, and although the aerial surveillance drones are en route, it's going to be twelve minutes before they get there. Are the drones taking taxis? The police are also going to cordon off the area, but it's going to take a while. Just then Agent Owen -- who I think is that young, inexperienced rookie from last week who couldn't even buckle his flak jacket by himself -- presents himself to Hastings, ready to lead the operation. He's got three units ready, and as Hastings walks him out, he remarks, "A lot of pressure on you, Agent Owen." Yeah, too bad Hastings doesn't have any experienced, grizzled tactical agents on his staff. He wants to hear Owen's plan. Owen says they're assuming the rods are near Farhad, so the first two teams are to retrieve them, while the third team evacuates Farhad. "It's a standard urban search and rescue. We're in, we're out." In the background, Kiefer cuts in, "Nothing standard about it," as he shoulders his man-purse and then walks out. Passive-aggressive much? Hastings follows Kiefer out the door, saying his name twice before he'll deign to turn around. Hastings tells Kiefer to speak his mind, and Kiefer does: "The people that are chasing Farhad already now they've got a big security problem, so most likely, by the time your men get there, those fuel rods will be long gone. And then you're down to one team covering Farhad? What if they run into resistance? Well, at that point you start shooting at people who have a higher intel value than the man you're going to try and save." I think I like Kiefer better when he's talking like Michael Westen. Hastings says he has all confidence in Agent Owen. Kiefer actually smirks, "Yeah, if that were true you wouldn't be standing here talking to me." Hastings asks if Kiefer's offering to bring in Farhad. "Yes," Kiefer says, "if you drop the criminal investigation against Renee Walker." He knows Hastings would prefer to do that anyway, and offers to be his excuse for getting out of it. Hastings starts to walk away, until Kiefer calls out, "I've sat in that chair before. The chair you're sitting in now? I know what it's like." Is he referring to the cutting-edge ergonomics? He adds, "The ones that last here, the ones that mattered? They knew when to say no." Hastings says he can't say no to the White House. "You've got a lot more juice than you think," Kiefer tells the head of CTU, "especially with a nucular weapon in play." Hastings says if they proceed, it's not for one rescue operation. "It's 'til this whole thing is over and done...You're not in and out any more. I want you in, with both feet." Because honestly, the writers are growing weary of coming up with new reasons for Kiefer to keep hanging around every few hours. Kiefer settles his man-purse strap across his body and says, "Deal." Man, he's never going to get to L.A. at this rate.

Back at the park, Dana is just gettin

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