24
The Sentinel

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M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
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Not-So-Secret Service

At the school that President Hammer is visiting, guys are doing their security sweeps with mirrors and dogs and God knows what else. It makes you realize how much Bush Sr. must have saved in tax money just by making Dan Quayle his Vice President.

In the back of his limo, POTUS pulls something out of his suit jacket, and something else falls out with it. "Damn locator," he mutters. Just so we know that the locator introduced twice in the first act will go off in the third. I'll wake you when that happens.

At the Secret Service command center, it's still a hive of activity. We can even see the icon representing POTUS's locator moving on an electronic map. THE PRESIDENT CARRIES A LOCATOR. WE GET IT.

In the limo, POTUS thanks his wife for joining him, and she says she'll go "to the beach house" this afternoon. That seems fine with POTUS. Not sensing a lot of warmth between these two. We get a few quick cuts of all of the guns and bullets in the motorcade surrounding the President, all of which are currently on their way to a school. Then there's another impressionistic death-threat montage, and we're out of the scene.

And into a new one, where Eva Longoria -- wearing a tight pantsuit over a low-cut top -- presents herself at some front desk somewhere. A tall Handsome Black Agent standing nearby offers to help, and she says she's looking for Agent Breckenridge's office. He cuts his eyes helpfully in the appropriate direction, and then directs them inappropriately at her departing ass, as he follows her down the hall.

Where she taps on the door, Agent David Breckenridge is standing at his office window with his back to her. When he turns around we see that it's Kiefer, in a shirt and tie. "You're late," he grumps at her. Eva -- who's playing Agent Jill Marin -- scoffs that it's one minute past. "Yeah, and that makes you late," Kiefer insists. Jill realizes that there is no fun of any kind to be had in this room, and decides to cut her losses and apologize. Kiefer recites a bulleted version of Jill's résumé (which starts with "Hispanic woman," naturally, and includes the fact that she knows four languages), and mocks, "Well, aren't you the recruiting poster." Basically, he's unimpressed: "Résumés don't mean a lot to me, and they mean absolutely nothing on the street," he sneers. Hey, she's not the one who brought it up. She asks if he has any other supportive comments. Yes: "If you want a career here in PID, you might want to invest in some more appropriate clothing." What I want to know is what PID stands for. But it's exposition time, as Kiefer says that he was ordered to take her on, and asks her why she requested him as her TA. Great, another acronym. "My field instructor at the Academy said you're the best investigator we have," Jill says. Her field instructor being? Pete

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