30 Rock

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Lady Lola: C | Grade It Now!
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100% Chance of Pain

This vision is explained by the fact that there's a gas leak downstairs. Janitor Tom (Michael Keaton) is worked up that this calamity had to befall him on his last day on the job. He notices the gas leak is going straight to the sixth floor, where TGS is. He says they'll have to evacuate everyone, then jokes, "Wait, isn't that show already half dead?" He and the other two janitors have a chuckle. Subhas gets a dreamy look in his eye and asks, "Who wants to kiss?" Tom suggests they all go get some air.

He heads upstairs with Pete to update Jack on the gas leak situation. Jack says, "You know what fascinates me?" Tom shoots back, "Mystery novels written by janitors?" Jack says no. His panties are in a twist because everyone from TGS seems to think their problems outrank his. He asks how bad the gas leak is, and Tom reports that it's bad enough to cause hallucinations, revelations, flashbacks and nostalgia. Jack tells him to evacuate the sixth floor so he won't have to have any gas-induced conversations with the staffers. Pete tries to bring up all the crazy guest stars and characters that have stopped by the show, but Jack cuts him off before we get a flashback. No fake Oprah?

Downstairs, Lemon is joking-slash-crying with the little blue creature, "I can't believe it's been 100 shows. More like 100 little strokes!" She says how much she's changed, including losing Dennis. "Sure he was an idiot, but he made great chili and didn't mind if I watched TV during sex." She wonders if she was better off five years ago. Pete interrupts to hand her her coat and tell her to evacuate. Kenneth appears with a hard hat and glow sticks to direct the staffers out. Except he's been around the gas leak long enough to freak out when the glow sticks suddenly become troll penises. He yelps, "Oh, God! What have I done?"

Meanwhile, Tracy makes the morning show rounds, and it goes about as poorly as anything he puts his mind to. Only this time, his failure is viewed as success. For instance, when he tells Rachael Ray to "shut [her] mouth, back that ass up and make [him] a sandwich," she applauds him for staying in character. He reveals to Regis, Kelly and all the ugly white ladies in the audience that he never went to Africa, only to a warehouse in Queens where he watched vintage pornography. Kelly commends his honesty. And Matt Lauer calls him brave for walking away from fame. Tracy gets frustrated and tosses a chair. Matt deems him a true artist, who "feels things we don't."

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30 Rock

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