30 Rock

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Lady Lola: C | Grade It Now!
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100% Chance of Pain

30 Rock. The staffers are all out on the plaza, and Lemon is unimpressed with the writers' suggestions for the night's show. Lemon tells them to throw everything out and start over. Lutz says it's hard to concentrate because it's so nice working outside. At which point a drunken homeless man promptly throws up on him. Lemon gets a phone call from Tracy, who tells her their plan was an epic fail. Lemon tells him to get back, and they'll figure something out. He retorts, "Eff you, L.L. ...spells 'FULL,' because you're full of B.S., Liz Lemon!" Lemon insists there's time, urging that, if the media won't let him embarrass himself, to "be like Michael McDonald and take it to the streets." If the public hates him, the media will follow, then he'll get his old life back. Tracy says she better be right because he can't take much more. What's more, Bono may have snuck into his limo.

After Lemon hangs up, Jenna runs over to ask if she'd be a good mother. Lemon does a spit take, then marvels, "No! And I wasn't even drinking anything." Jenna says she's at a point in her life where she has a strong desire to nurture -- her career. She thinks pregnancy would be great PR. With TGS circling the drain, Jenna says having a child would be a great excuse for why she's about to stop working. Lemon tells her to think seriously, because getting pregnant will mean she'll have a child. "I know," says Jenna, "who'll grow up to be a little gay fancy man!" Still, Lemon doesn't think Jenna will be able to find a man to "ride that crazy train." But Jenna already has someone in mind -- Kenneth. Jenna walks off as Lemon puts the kibosh on the homeless guy's idea to do a sketch about how the Empire State Building is controlling us through electricity.

Down in the utilities room, Tom is one turn away from fixing the gas leak when he loses control of the wrench and opens up the leak to the 52nd floor. He screams, "Damn it! I'm getting to old for this shhhhhhh sound that comes from the gas pipe."

The gas makes its way up to Jack. Suddenly, he envisions the door breaking down and an even more handsome version of himself coming into the room. It's GE CEO Jack, who has come from an alternate universe in which he followed their plan for world domination. In addition to running GE, he owns an NFL team and guest starred on Entourage. Jack criticizes CEO Jack's choice to pair a striped shirt and striped tie. CEO Jack explains it's called "power clashing," and he wore this very look on the January cover of Meetings magazine. Jack says incredulously, "We made the cover during Meetings History Month?" "I made the cover," snits CEO Jack.

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30 Rock

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