Over at 30 Rock, Jenna walks into her dressing room to find an altar of her picture emblazoned with the words "I WANT TO EAT YOUR BOOGERS." In case you didn't already get that this was Kenneth's handiwork, his terrible acting gives it away when she asks him who did it. Luckily, Jenna knows a bad actor when she sees one (except, you know, in the mirror), so she immediately catches on. She thanks Kenneth. He acts coy for a second, then wishes her a happy Valentine's Day. They embrace, giving him an opening to cut off a strand of her hair. She squeals with delight.
Uptown a bit, Jack and Avery escort a hyper-giggling Lemon into her apartment. Jack steps aside to prepare the bedroom, leaving Avery to ask Lemon about Jack. Lemon slurs that he's the best, she doesn't know what she'd do without him. Avery agrees, but then Lemon gets distracted by "Bon Jovi" over in the corner. Yep. Another ficus. Jack runs in to save "Bon Jovi" from Lemon's sexual advances, and that lovable junkie is passed out like a light before he can even get her into her room.
Bonus: The Exes, now in nurse scrubs and full Jamaican accents, shoot the bull about their good-for-nothing Valentines. Hulu it.
And nah for di jokes, mon...
Lemon: Cubist Spinster
Jack: What are your plans for Valentine's Day, Lemon?
Lemon: I am taking myself out of the equation entirely. I scheduled a root canal for February 14th, Jack. I will spend half the day in twilight sleep, then I will go home and watch the Lifetime original movie My Stepson Is My Cyber Husband.
Jack: Wow, that is inspired. You are truly the Picasso of loneliness.
Lemon: Or I am that painting elephant of being awesome.
Only Jenna Could Develop a Stalker Inferiority Complex
Jenna: Kenneth, have any packages come for me today?
Kenneth: No, Miss Maroney.
Jenna: That doesn't make any sense. Valentine's Day is always a huge deal for Maynard Rosheloins. That's my stalker.
Kenneth: You have a stalker?
Tracy: It's a real problem in the celebrity community. But if Beyoncé simply answered one of my letters, I'd stop trying to break into her house.
Kenneth: So if you haven't heard from him, isn't that a good thing?
Jenna: Kenneth, the celebrity-stalker relationship is very special. Maynard's debilitating devotion validates how wonderful I am. But what does it say about me if he's moved on? Maybe to one of my peers... like Julia Roberts!