Lemon's Bitter Fruits
Lemon: Tracy, hey. I really need a ride home from the doctor's on Valentine's Day.
Tracy: Can't do it, LiLem. On Valentine's Day, Angie and I rent a room with a heart-shaped hot tub and cooked chili in it. Then we take it to a soup kitchen, and that's when it starts to get sexy!
Lemon: Hey, Jenna! Please tell me you haven't already concocted your usual Valentine's Day drama.
Jenna: Can't talk, Liz. I just got my stalker's work address from his parole officer, and I'm going to confront him about why he's ignoring me.
He's Just Not That Stalking You
Jenna: Hello Maynard.
Maynard: Jenna, you shouldn't have come here.
Jenna: Well what was I supposed to do? It's almost Valentine's Day, and I haven't heard from you. Has the dog who gives you your orders died?
Maynard: No, Brandon's fine. Jenna, we need to talk. I don't think I can stalk you anymore.
Jenna: No! You don't mean that!
Maynard: Look, I have a new therapist. I'm taking my meds. I can't even see electricity shooting out of your head anymore.
Jenna: Well, is there someone else? It's one of those kids from Glee, isn't it?
Maynard: Jenna, please don't make a scene.
Jenna: I always knew this would end some day. I just thought it would be with me in the trunk of a rental car.
Jack: Thank you for setting all this up, Lemon. Grizz, Dot Com, thank you for pretending to be bouncers.
Dot Com: Maybe someday we'll live in a world where you ask us to pretend to be scientists.
Jack [Bon Jovi enters]: Jon, thank you for coming.
Jon Bon Jovi: No problem, Jack. What do you need -- arena rock anthem? Power ballad?
Jack: Actually, I have a date coming by, so if you come over at some point and say hello, that would really impress her.
Bon Jovi: Oh sure, that sounds like an appropriate use of my time and talent.
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