30 Rock
Anna Howard Shaw Day

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B | 1 USERS: A+
Ex, Lies and Duct Tape

Only Jenna Could Develop a Stalker Inferiority Complex
Jenna: Kenneth, have any packages come for me today?
Kenneth: No, Miss Maroney.
Jenna: That doesn't make any sense. Valentine's Day is always a huge deal for Maynard Rosheloins. That's my stalker.
Kenneth: You have a stalker?
Tracy: It's a real problem in the celebrity community. But if Beyoncé simply answered one of my letters, I'd stop trying to break into her house.
Kenneth: So if you haven't heard from him, isn't that a good thing?
Jenna: Kenneth, the celebrity-stalker relationship is very special. Maynard's debilitating devotion validates how wonderful I am. But what does it say about me if he's moved on? Maybe to one of my peers... like Julia Roberts!

Garage Banned
Cerie: Dr. Caplan's office called. They want to know who's picking you up after the procedure.
Lemon: What?
Pete: It's an insurance thing. Any time you have anesthesia, someone has to bring you home.
Frank: That stuff messes you up. When I had my wisdom teeth out, I tried to get in the bathtub with my mom.
Lemon: Okay. Is there any chance that you could take me home?
Pete: Sorry. Every year Paula and I rent this big suite in Niagara. Then she takes the kids there, and I stay home and get wasted in my garage. It's what keeps the magic alive.

Snack Attack
Avery Jessup: Also joining me, Walter Stein, whose bow tie tells us he works for some Liberal think tank.
Jack: And the food in his beard tells us that he purchased a snack pack on the train from New Haven.
Avery: Oooooh, that's gotta hurt, Walter!

Rapid Fire
Let's go to the countdown. First topic: Prime Minister Wen wants a weak yuan, do we?
Jack: China needs to transition to a spending economy.
Avery: After Dubai, what's the next credit crisis?
Jack: The Baltics or women's tennis.
Avery: Do we need a second bailout.
Jack: Absolutely... not.
Avery: I love it. Try to get in there, Beta Dog!
Walter Stein: I am trying!
Avery: On three, who will be the next president of these United States?
Jack/Avery: Mitt Romney's oldest son! [They look at each other knowingly.]
Walter Stein: Dennis Kucinich.
Avery: Okay, that's sad, Walter. Just sad. Jack, back to you! Who's number one on your speed dial?
Jack: Blackberry, Warren Buffett. iPhone, Jimmy Buffett.
Avery: Favorite movie?
Jack: Tie -- The Fountainhead or Uncle Buck.

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30 Rock




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