Just before his 50th birthday blowout, Jack realizes that, unlike Kenneth, he does not see the world through the eyes of the creators of Avenue Q, minus the Internet porn and everyday racism. (On related notes, Tracy sees the world much like John Malkovich, and Jack sees the world in purely financial terms, with Kenneth worth exactly $7.) Jack mournfully realizes that he has lost his childlike innocence. He puts an old home movie on repeat and hypothesizes that buying a gift that once made him so happy he threw up will take him back to happier times. Failing that, he will "Benjamin Button" himself. Jack finds the toy, but it doesn't do the trick. Read on...
Dennis returns to Lemon's life -- and Jenna's -- to apologize for victimizing them with his sexual charisma. Unfortunately, his attempt to make amends with Jenna is intercepted by Lemon. The ladies weigh their options: Give Dennis a piece of their minds (Lemon's suggestion) or stab him (Jenna's). Lemon's idea wins, but goes horribly awry. The results are threefold: 1.) Lemon learns that Dennis and Jenna's way of dealing with Katrina-induced vulnerability was to have sex in Lemon's bed; 2.) Dennis ranks the ladies' sexual skillz, and 3.) Lemon kind-of-on-purpose lets Jenna fall from a semi-great height. Lemon atones by letting Jenna show everyone a phone sex commercial Lemon made in college. This horrifying sight unlocks Jack's child-like glee. Vomit ensues.
Also, Tracy decides to become an astronaut. (Lance Bass rues the day!) On a whim, Jack decides to indulge Tracy's childhood dream. And by "indulge" I mean force Lemon and the TGS crew to whip up a low-budget rendition of space that's worthy of some Tracy-foolin'. The bar is low. Still, Pete does a stellar job (word play!), and Tracy goes another day wanting for nothing.
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Lemon's apartment. Jack interrupts her once-in-a-lifetime attempt to go running to ask whether she's attending his 50th birthday bash. She will, but not in "the belted outfit," per Jack's orders. He hangs up before she can find out which belted outfit. Apparently, she has many. No time to worry, though, because Tracy's on the TV. He is holding a press conference to announce that he has decided to fulfill his lifelong dream of going to space, irregular heartbeat and all.
Lemon takes off her new running shoes and hears a knock at the door. She opens it to find Dennis. She tries to close the door on him, but he busts in to tell her about his sex addiction and his latest business venture: a single, inconveniently located coffee vending machine. She pooh-poohs this notion, so he returns to his original objective: to make amends for subjecting her to his "addiction." She couldn't care less. He takes this as her trying to lure him back in for hate sex. He warns her he won't give in, as his support group is "lousy with nymphos." Pure class, that one. Credits.
Lemon charges into Jack's office to discuss the "Tracy thing." Jack is trying to schedule an appointment with Tracy to dissuade him. Grizz gives him the runaround. Lemon notices that Jack is watching old movies from his childhood. Jack's ever-loving mother sent them to clear up space in the house for her new boyfriend's golf clubs. They watch one of a young Jack having the best birthday EVER! In Jack parlance, this translates to wearing a sweater vest, jumping up and down furiously, and finally vomiting from overwhelming merriment. Lemon relates. When she gets excited, she "Lizzes" her pants (laughing + whizzing = Lizzing). Jack pulls out a list he wrote in fifth grade of all the things he wanted to do before he turned 50. He has done them all... with relish. He wonders what his 10-year-old self would think if he could see grown-up Jack Donaghy. Lemon guesses he'd be excited enough to hurl. Lemon notes there is just one more item to check off: "Be friends with Batman." Jack has Jonathan call Adam West's manager. It's Grizz again. That guy sure is enterprising!
Over in the studio, Jenna flirts with a crew member as he fastens her harness. Not as dirty as she might like. Lemon happens upon them, and Jenna gives her her phone to hold while she tests out the flying cables. Jenna's phone rings. It's Dennis. Instead of admitting she's not Jenna, Lemon adopts a shiteous British accent that meets somewhere in the middle of Jane Krakowski and Madonna. Dennis begins to make amends with "former sex partner" Jenna. Lemon rolls with it, which naturally leads to Dennis trying to convince British Jenna Lemon that he was the love of Lemon's life. He fears that Lemon will be devastated, and her friendship with Jenna will be ruined if Lemon learns that he and Jenna had sex. We'll see! Commercials.