Lemon regales the women at the office with tales about OPRAH, like how she smells like rosewater and warm laundry. Jenna asks "did she touch you?" and Lemon extends her hand. Jenna kneels before it like an Elf being knighted in a Tolkien musical. Lemon gathers Jenna and Tracy in Jack's office when she gets back and they wait for OPRAH. OPRAH arrives, only it's not OPRAH. It's a twelve-year-old middle school student named Pam. PAM! She is black but she's also a tween and definitely not the queen of television. She's also funny and for all the Oprah -- excuse me -- OPRAH hoopla it's her who steals the show. Suffice it to say those pills Lemon was popping played a few tricks on her mind. She flashes back to the plane ride and remembers Oprah saying questionable things like "My boyfriend's in ninth grade." Still, despite her not being OPRAH Pam does surprisingly well in mediating Tracy and Jenna's conflict. They both hold up their "emotion drawings" for a critique. Jack shows up but forgives Lemon the screw up. "In-flight medication is how I met M. Night Shyamalan until it turned out to be," and he nudges in the direction of Jonathan. Jenna and Tracy announce they've worked out their differences and Pam makes a grand exit. "Good job Lemon," says Jack. "Good job Pam. Really." "Be a white man, take credit," is his retort. In so many ways Baldwin is the rock of this show. You better be wrong about him Goldenfiddle.
Jenna: "How can you defame someone who's been arrested in three different Chuck E. Cheeses?"
Madge of the Varicose
Lemon: "No one has it harder in this country today than women. It turns out we can't be President. We can't be network news anchors. Madonna's arms look crazy."
Which one do you kick a ball?
Kenneth: Was any of it real, Mr. Donaghy? Beer-pong? Jazzercise? Women's soccer?
I thought Marlon Brando was dead
Jack: "How would you like to host a Deal or No Deal in the privacy of your own home?"
Silent Comedy Award
"White people stole..." sort of like "Black people used to..."
Tracy: "White people stole jazz, rock n' roll, Will Smith, and heart disease."