On the Gossip Girl set, Jenna acts her aged ass off as the mother who dies of old age... at 41. Her character chronicles all the things she's seen in her full life: The first Clinton administration, the Nagano Olympics, Microsoft Windows 95... The scene wraps. The crew gives Jenna a hearty round of applause, and she realizes old age can't be that bad if it means being the center of attention.
That night at the after party, Lemon and her newly waxed lip confront Jack about pulling such a low blow to secure Danny as his wing man. Lemon sarcastically asks Jack what he told Danny he loved about her. Was it her bangin' body? Her freaky deaky dance moves? Jack walks away as Lemon booty bumps, rump shakes, and does that wacky knee jerk move that everyone used to do in the '90s. Perhaps Jenna's character saw that one in her long, full life, too! The end.
Bonus! Lutz dances. It is beyond words. Not even the mountain of jokes to follow can justify its insanity. Just watch. And then read the jokes anyway!
Would That Be a Whittlodontist?
Kenneth: Good show tonight, Mr. Jordan.
Tracy: Hey Kenneth, why aren't your teeth glowing in the black light?
Kenneth: You'll have to ask the fella who whittled 'em for me!
Stop Jenna If You Know Where This Is Going...
Jenna: Liz, I can't do girls lunch today.
Lemon: We've never done that.
Jenna: Because I have an audition for Gossip Girl.
Pete: Oh, I love that show.
Jenna: I play Tartine Gramercy, an heiress to a vermouth fortune and a freshman at NYU.
Lemon: Really, a college freshman?
Jenna: That's right. In the scene they gave me, I'm fighting with my mother, a washed-up actress who's clinging to her last scraps of faded glamour.
Pete: Uh huh... it's interesting that they've highlighted the mother's lines.
Jenna: Oh, that's so I'll know what lines not to read. As if the word "mother" didn't tip me off already. Wish me luck! [Leaves.]
Pete: We really should have said something. What happens when she gets there and realizes she's auditioning for the mom?
Lemon: Oh, Pete, that's later. Maybe we'll be dead by then.
Pete: That'd be great...
Equal Rights Offenders
Tracy: Sue, you're probably wondering why we asked you to join the entourage. Well, over the years I've had a complicated relationship with women -- from my treatment of the dancers here to my remarks about Madeleine Albright at the 1996 White House Correspondents' Dinner.