30 Rock

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B- | Grade It Now!
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Age Before Beauty

Cut to archival footage.
Archive Tracy: What? It's true. She does look one of those!
Back to present.
Kenneth: Now that Mr. Jordan is having a daughter, he wants to learn to give all women the respect they deserve. Even you foreigners!

Culture Clash
Tracy: Now what's on the schedule today?
Dot Com: Ten AM, Dot Com shows us pictures from his trip to Greece!
Tracy: I think I'm gon' go ahead and cancel that.
Dot Com: Okay, I'll reschedule... again. Eleven AM, go to strip club.
Grizz: I'll get the car!
Tracy: Hang on. No! I don't think we should go to a strip club. It just doesn't feel right. I think we should let the new member choose an activity
Sue: I like to go to Tasti D-Lite.
Tracy: I said we're not going to a strip club.
Sue: Pinkberry?
Tracy: What don't you understand? I don't want to take you to a strip club!

The Girlie Showmance
Jack: So what did you do after the party the other night?
Danny: Well, my, uh, "work friend" and I went to her office.
Jack: Oooh, she has an office. Hey, is it that chick lawyer who does the sexual harassment presentation? Because she's asking for it... Okay, no more guesses, continue.
Danny: All right, so we're getting into it, and she takes off her glasses. Real sexy...
Jack: Nice.
Danny: But she never takes off her shoes... which I kind of like. [Recognition dawns on Jack's face.] Even though the reason is she's never let a man see her feet.
Jack: What?
Danny: And she's kind of a tease. Mostly we just kiss, and then she makes me go down to the deli to get her a sandwich. So we haven't gone too far. But under that dress... I can tell she's wearing some weeeeird underwear. I wanna see it.
Jack [looking sick]: They're called Spanx.

Tracy Knows Best
Italian Crew Guy [watching Sue eat fro yo]: Hey baby, you like Italian ice?
Tracy: Hey! Watch your mouth, she's only 34 years old! ... K, what's wrong with me? First I don't want to go to strip clubs, and then I get angry at the hilarious dude that says somethin' awesome.
Kenneth: There's nothing wrong with you, sir. It's just, you're treating Sue like family now. It makes you feel protective of her.
Tracy: But I'm not like that with my sons. When they were little, I threw them in the deep end of our pool... to help them get over their fear of sharks.

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30 Rock

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