Kenneth: Well, it's different with girls -- you want to protect them from the world. I'm proud of you, sir. It's like a whole new part of your heart has opened up.
Tracy: Thank God! 'Cause the doctors keep tellin' me it's pretty clogged.
RaT A Dat Tat, For Short
Jenna: A mother? I'm not a mother! Would a mother be planning a sex tour on Vietnam this spring?!
Lemon: Look, you are a beautiful woman, but you can't play prom queens and murdered runaways forever.
Jenna: But those were my majors at the Royal Tampa Academy of Dramatic Tricks!
Lemon: You can try to fight getting older. You can be like Madonna and cling to youth with your Gollum arms. Or you can be like Meryl Streep and embrace your age with elegance.
Jenna: So you're saying it's a choice? Between the dignity of middle age and the illusion of youth.
Lemon: Two paths -- Meryl Streep... [pushes out lips and makes sour face] or Madonna.
Jenna: Very well. I will emulate my acting inspiration. A woman of profound poise, whose career is what we all aspire to--
Lemon: Okay, this build-up is making me nervous.
Jenna: ...a woman whose feminine grace and normal outfits are an inspiration--
Lemon: Just say who it is, and I'll feel better.
Jenna: ...someone whose very name stands for enduring beauty and the wonder of womanhood!
Lemon: Please don't say--
CHiPs and Dips
Jack: This badge is a symbol of dignity, honor, and dramatized 1970s interethnic California daytime motorcycle highway justice.
Lemon: I'm sorry, Jack. I changed my mind.
Jack: I'm trying to look out for the show here, Lemon.
Lemon: I don't think you are. While stuck in a pileup on the Pacific Coast Highway earlier, I realized something -- you take Danny away from work whenever you want to hang out. I don't think this is about the show. I think you have some sort of problem with the fact that Danny is with me.
Jack: For four years I've had to make do with what passes for men in this place, with their untucked shirts, boneless faces, their Stars, both Wars and Trek. I needed a man around here, and I finally have one.
Lemon: No, I finally have one. Liz Lemon has a handsome, goof-around makeout buddy.
Jack: And that's the problem. Danny can't be my Alpha Male wingman and his boss's... little scrumpnugget. They're incompatible!