Downstairs, Jenna, Tracy, and Kenneth are in Tracy's dressing room preparing for Tracy's HFPA luncheon. As Tracy glugs salsa into piñatas and Jenna readies streamers, Kenneth practices lying perfectly still for his role as human sushi platter. It reminds him of his childhood and "hiding under the porch during a hill people rampage," he tells Lemon. Tracy then assures her that Kenneth will be quieter during the actual luncheon because his mouth will be stuffed with wasabi. Jenna runs off to fill up a chafing dish with her underwear -- "in case some Saudi guys show up" -- so Lemon follows her outside to determine why exactly Jenna, perhaps the most jealous person in the world, would help anyone else achieve success. Jenna confides in Lemon that she's sabotaging Tracy, telling her about the bribery idea and how it will scuttle Tracy's career. Lemon is utterly disappointed, but Jenna insists Lemon should be most disappointed in her.

A bit later, Jack heads to Lemon's office to introduce her to Steve Austin. He momentarily doesn't recognize her because her back's turned, and she's wearing the jeans that make her (and her ass) "look like a Mexican sports reporter." Ogling out of the way, Lemon says that Steve Austin looks familiar to her. He gives her his campaign spiel, and she realizes that she received one of his campaign ads that went viral. Cut to the ad, in which Steve pops out of a woman's legs, screaming, "The rebirth of America starts now. Waaaaaaah!" Then he pulls out a shotgun and cocks it, saying, "My name is Steve Austin. And if you're senile, yes I am The Six Million Dollar Man." And where did Steve get the money to fund all these top-notch commercials? From the broken vending machine at the paintball place he owns. Nice.

Jack tells Lemon about the fundraiser and tasks her with creating a biographical video on Steve. Suddenly Steve remembers that he has a delivery schedule and won't be home to pick it up, since his wife left him for his twin brother, so he needs to make a call. He asks to use Lemon's phone since he has no cell phone, which he claims is a government tracking device.

Lemon takes Jack outside to ask him why he's throwing his support behind someone who is clearly wackadoo. Jack tells him the Bookman quandary, and Lemon expresses her disappointment that he's sacrificing the good of the country for his own political objectives. She rues that everyone has lost their moral compass. Jack reminds her the stakes for the Kabletown merger and shoots back, "You're being awfully high and mighty for someone who once claimed her husband drowned so she could get out of a gym contract." Jack reminds Lemon that she's part of the big business machine, too, but she insists that her freelance position at NBC -- not to mention her commitment to quality, handmade local clothing -- makes her like a modern cowboy. She takes leave of this conversation, letting Jack watcher her booty swagger as she walks away. Jack looks back to Lemon's office and overhears Steve telling the deliveryman, "Yeah, I know it's not a house, but I sleep there!" Yikes.