Austin Power
Jack: I like a lot of what you're saying, Steve, but before I throw my support behind you I do have a litmus test.
Steve Austin: Okay. Can I take that in two weeks?
Jack: Haha, no. It's just questions. What do you think the role of government should be?
Steve Austin: Limited. I believe in small government.
Jack: Excellent answer.
Steve Austin: Or no government at all! If it works in Antarctica, why can't it work here? But if we have to have government, make it as small as possible -- dwarves, tiny buildings, pizza bagels for lunch.
Jack: Maybe we should stop at small government. Let's cut to the chase. I need you to assure me you would never allow the government to interfere with the sale of one company to another.
Steve Austin: Of course not. The government shouldn't interfere with anything. What happens inside a man's own poncho at a minor league baseball game is his own business!

Jenna 101
Lemon: Let me get this straight -- you, the person who is still jealous of the attention Baby Jessica got, are helping Tracy win an award for acting?
Jenna: Oh, I'm helping him all right. I even gave him the idea to try to bribe them.
Lemon: And he's going to do that? That's awful. I trust awards shows. They tell me how much to care about different dead people.
Jenna: It's not gonna work! If they could be bribed, I would have won a Golden Globe for my Lifetime original movie Sister Can You Spare a Breast?
Lemon: So you've tried this before?
Jenna: Ugh, and they were so offended, they banned me for life. [Pulls out "No Golden Globes for Life" card.] And the same thing will happen to Tracy.
Lemon: So you're sabotaging him?
Jenna: Just like I did to my niece at our family's Christmas party.
Lemon: You know what? You and Tracy deserve each other. I don't know which of you to be more disappointed in.
Jenna: Me, silly! I'm more aware of what I'm doing.

The Tracy Jordan Actor's Studio
Jenna: Tracy would be happy to take any softball questions you have... like the following, "What films inspire you?"
Tracy: Well definitely the foreign films, like the political ones where you think there'll be no boobies, then bam! Boobies!
Jenna: Tracy, what is an actor?
Tracy: I think the better question is, "What isn't an actor?" A lamp! A couch! That mirror! A hidden pistol!