Down the corridor, Jack finds Lemon, who acknowledges that Brooklyn Without Limits is the vast, right-wing conspiracy he explained it to be but is still wearing her jeans because they make her ass look fantastic. She points out that he's selling out, too, by supporting someone who advances his own agenda instead of someone who represents his true beliefs. He insists he believes in Steve Austin's plan to put a casino on the moon, so she grimaces that she believes in Halliburton. Cue Mexican stand-off.
Down the hall, Tracy is shocked that Jenna tried to sabotage him, but she insists he win the Oscar for his performance. She quotes his movie back to him, saying the right thing isn't always the easy thing. Lemon, pushing her own agenda, chips in to insist that sometimes compromise is good. Tracy counters with another movie quote: "Compromise is for lesser souls. Die werewolf zombie!" Lemon is flabbergasted that Jenna and Tray are doing the right thing for once in their lives -- and at the most inconvenient possible time for her, naturally. She concedes to go home and change, giving everyone one last look at her glute-tastic walk away. Jenna says she'd definitely hit that, but Tracy deems her assets "too small."
Back at the fundraiser, Jack watches in the shadows as the video plays of Steve Austin. It has obviously been edited down in such a way to give the dramatic contrivances of The Hills or America's Next Top Model a run for their money. And yet there's something more horrifying lurking in the studio. Jack gasps, "Lesbian Mario Brothers!" as he sees Lemon appear in a truly unflattering pair of shortalls. He considers them the worst thing she's ever worn, "including 2008's turtleneck with smiley face vest." Lemon acknowledges that she's wearing the shortalls because she threw out all her other jeans but claims she feels good -- and not just because she found a discontinued packet of Tastetations in the pocket. She knows she did the right thing and waddles off in the horribly hip-hugging denim, eliciting Jack's strangled exclamation, "Good God, Lemon!"
It's no better when he turns back to the screen where Steve Austin is screaming through heavy editing, "And I will never allow. Casinos on the moon!" Jack's candidate gets an ovation and a thumbs-up from one of his political cronies, but he knows he's sunk. He goes back to the dressing room where he left Steve to find that the nutty protester has hunkered himself in a fort of couch cushions. When Jack calls out to him, Steve asks timidly, "Friend or foe?" He peeks out to see Jack, who says all these people have come to see Steve, so he must speak. Steve charges out of the cushion fortress. Jack assesses the situation and spits out, "Damn you, shorteralls!" Steve's shot at live speaking goes predictably awry, especially when he proposes a new national anthem whose primary lyrics are "Ooga booga."
Jack shows Lemon the footage as it airs on MSNBC later that night. Lemon gawps at the catastrophe unfolding. Jack notes that Jay Leno even made fun of Steve in his monologue that night. "The Kingmaker has spoken," he intones ominously. It seems certain now that Regina Bookman will maintain her seat in the Congress. Lemon congratulates him for doing the right thing, but he cuts her off, "Letting morality get in the way of making money. I might as well go and... be a teacher." Lemon says she knows just what will cheer him up and beckons Kenneth the cake boy to crawl in and serve them. He skitters in on his hands and knees, chirping, "This has been the best day of my life!"
Bonus! The unedited version of Steve Austin's speech: "I believe ketchup bottles should be 500% larger. We are all responsible for heroes becoming terrible. What kind of jail are these alien prisoners being held in? We should bring back slavery! ...and they're back by big corporations! Animals can govern themselves... Taken out of context, it was exactly what I meant. As God is my witness, we will build casinos on the moon! Thank you!" Well you are welcome, Steve Austin. You are welcome. Now for some jokes beyond your political career...