That night, Donald welcomes Jack to his restaurant. He has thoughtfully named it Staples because they offer "the basics... food, drinks, fun." Jack informs him Staples is the name of a giant office supply chain. Donald replies confidently, "Well, we'll see who's still in business 200 years from now." Jack surveys the restaurant and tells Donald he's going to pick a problem at random. He asks if the theme of the restaurant is "not enough tables." Donald explains that they need room for the monster fights. He has modeled his restaurant after Medieval Times, only instead of jousting knights, he offers scraps between unlicensed versions of iconic Japanese monsters. With that, Donald takes the stage to introduce the first fight of the night, between Godzila ("with one 'l' for trademark reasons") and Mecha-Godzila. Godzila knocks over two of the patrons' table, which I'm guessing is not good business practice, but Donald is too swept up in his unlicensed monster fight to care. He runs smiling back to Jack and keeps his hyper-enthusiasm even as Mecha-Godzila (a.k.a. George) punches Godzila in the nuts, and the actor under the suit cries out for help.
Back at 30 Rock, Kenneth delivers a message from Carol (a.k.a. Captain Burnet), who claims not to have cell phone service during his layover in Daytona with his flight crew: Stewart, Brenda, Amber and Crystal. Adds Kenneth, "Also, in the background I heard lady giggles and the sound of a beautiful sunset." Lying down on the couch, Lemon says this is exactly why she needs to find someone to talk to. Kenneth asks what she needs to talk about. She says sometimes she feels men aren't completely honest with her. Kenneth adopts an attentive mien, sits down in a chair across from her, and tells her to go on. She says all her high school boyfriends turned out to be gay or "a girl dressed as a guy to get a journalism scholarship." She mentions her dad's attempted gentleman's intermission and how it affected her ideas about marriage.













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