30 Rock

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B | 1285 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
"I Ate My Father-Pig!"

Back in the present, Jack says he threw away all his science-related possessions the next day. He tells Tracy, "A parent is the one person who is supposed to make their kid think they can do anything, says they're beautiful even when they're ugly, thinks they're smart even when they go to Arizona State." He tells Tracy to support Donald no matter what and tells Donald to go and make him proud. Donald tells him that his speech was nice but agrees with Jimmy Donaghy that Jack didn't have what it took to be a scientist if he couldn't even be protein in a school play. He admits that he's a failure and begins to walk away. Jack yells out after him, proudly delivering the speech he bungled all those years ago. It's so forceful, Tracy and Donald can't help but clap. Re-energized, Donald asks Tracy for $50,000 to start a call-in line for people who want air quality reports across the United States. He wants to call it American Airlines. Tracy proudly tells him this plan will work, and they hug each other with renewed passion.

Bonus! Lemon thinks she has reaped the rewards of working at being happy as she sits on a park bench eating an egg salad sandwich next to Godzila (or the failed actor who briefly played him at Staples). Instead of joining in on her happiness, he basically reiterates each and every one of her worst fears before running off to wreck Tokyo. See below to find out that Lemon's life is -- appropriately, and as we expected all along -- one big joke.

Tracy Jumps on the Bandwagon
Tracy: You remember Donald -- my son who's two years older than me.
Jack: Ah, yes. Please come in. As I recall, you own the Tracy Jordan Institute for Black Karate.
Tracy: You wouldn't believe this, but that business failed. I blame Obama.

Modern Love
'Gina: I have to go to work. My new manager is making us wear name tags. I might as well be working at a roller-skating drag queen restaurant under Taliban rule.
Jenna: But after your shift, we still have our special night, right?
'Gina: You have no idea how special. [They touch tongues and wiggle them around, then Paul leaves]
Jenna: We're celebrating our six-month anniversary, and I think Paul's going to pop the question.
Lemon: Really? That's a little fast, isn't it?
Jenna: And I will say yes when Paul proposes... that we make a sex tape and leak it on the Internet.
Lemon: I thought you meant marriage.
Jenna: Oh God, no! Marriage is like death. You settle into a routine. You lose all the spark.
Lemon: I don't know. I always thought the whole point of being with someone for a long time is to get to the comfortable routine part.
Jenna: No. Relationships are like sharks, Liz. If you're not left with several bite marks after intercourse, then something's wrong.
Lemon: Well nothing's wrong with me and Carol. I mean, we haven't spoken in five days, but that doesn't mean anything. Because we are not sharks. We are legless turtles rotting on the beach.

30 Rock

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