Lemon thinks she can avoid holiday dysfunction by spending Christmas Eve in transit. Instead, she finds herself with Jack, who has kept his and Avery's lovechild from Colleen. Even after Jack comes clean, Colleen refuses to accept the Protestant bastard, so he retaliates by inviting his hippie-dippy father Milton -- the man Colleen kept from him for 50 years and whom she still doesn't know that Jack knows about -- to Christmas dinner. All the while Lemon stands by, glugging wine uncomfortably. Colleen inevitably fakes an arrhythmia, lands herself in the hospital, and gets everyone back on her side. Lemon realizes there's no dysfunction like that of your own family, and Jack relishes the chance to experience life with two parents -- even if they're both yelling at him.
Tracy discovers even he is not immune to the Norbert effect and tries to delay the release of Chunk 2, a substandard comedy he filmed prior to his dramatic turn in Golden Globe-nominated Hard to Watch. Amidst charity screenings and slideshows about Darfur, Kenneth reminds Tracy that comedy is just as valuable to the human spirit as tragedy.
When Jenna receives an invitation to Tom Ford and Elton John's New Queer's Eve party, she becomes forlorn that her costume options have been limited because she is no longer with Paul/'Gina. Lemon recognizes that Jenna is sad about more than costumes and speaks to Paul. (S)He visits Jenna, and they set aside their differences to join together in a truly perverse and appropriate rendition of "O Holy Night."
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30 Rock. Lemon wishes Jack a merry Christmas Eve Eve. He ask her if she's busy the next day, and she invites him to join her in her exciting plans to shop at the Penn Station Kmart and watch Tootsie. She explains that she's devised a new plan of traveling on holidays so she misses the dysfunctional family fireworks. She expects this year to be a real spectacle, since her aunt Linda is bringing a much younger, much more ethnic boyfriend, and her uncle "is bringing his date -- alcoholism." Jack invites her to enjoy Christmas Eve with him. Since Colleen will be in town, Lemon will have someone with whom to bitch about all those young floozies who refuse to wear pantyhose these days.
Lemon heads into the studio to film the final promo for Kabletown, but Tracy -- now decked out in a beret and Dieter's all-black ensemble from Sprockets -- refuses to participate. He thinks that, as an actor, it's his responsibility to "tell the truth, hold a mirror to humanity, and sell Proactiv." He says he refuses to spout her lies and walks out. Pete mentions that Tracy has been acting like Sean Penn ever since he was nominated for a Golden Globe. Lemon snarks, "Well, they have both had screaming fights with Wyclef Jean." She powers through, expecting that Jenna will be happy that she now has twice as many lines. Instead, Jenna is a weepy mess. Lemon asks what's wrong, so Jenna hands her the invitation she just received to Elton John and Tom Ford's New Queer's Eve party, where all the guests dress up as a pop culture phenomenon from the previous year. Jenna and Paul were going to plan their costume as a couple. Now that they're broken up, Jenna doesn't see any point in going. "This party means so much to me," she blubbers, "I don't know what I'm going to do without it." Lemon quickly realizes Jenna is really talking about Paul, but Jenna denies it. As she walks off, Pete announces he just got an e-mail saying they're off the hook because NBC wants Kabletown promos from everyone but TGS. Lemon claps half-heartedly, "Good year, everyone!" Credits.
Jack's office. Avery reads Jack the card they send out together. "Happy Holidays..." she flips it open, "...is what terrorists say. Merry Christmas, Avery and Jack." They hear a knock on the door, and Avery instinctively grabs a large vase of poinsettias to cover her bump. Lemon enters, so Avery drops her guard as Jack explains that Avery is keeping her pregnancy a secret at work -- hence her show from the night before, when she was inexplicably holding a glazed ham in a top hat in front of her midsection. Lemon says she's bringing dessert the next day and asks if there are any foods that are making Avery sick, though she's really angling to bring a half sleeve of Oreos she has stashed away. Avery tells her it doesn't matter, because she's spending the holidays with her family. Lemon thinks it's strange, and when Jack says something about Colleen being frail, Lemon immediately realizes and blurts out that Jack must not have told his mother that Avery is pregnant. Lemon tells an enraged Avery that she's been watching a lot of The Mentalist since she lost her remote control, and she can tell from Jack's body language that he hasn't told Colleen about the baby and that he wants to kill the person to his right. Lemon jumps a little when she realizes she is, in fact, the person to Jack's right.