30 Rock

Episode Report Card
Michael Neal: A- | Grade It Now!
No Period? Exclamation Point!

The cherry blossoms are in full bloom in good ole W-ASH-ING-TON baby, DC! Jack strolls through security at the Capitol building as he chats with Lemon on the phone. It's his first day in charge of the government's homeland security/extreme weather preparedness/homeless. He seems "jacked" about it although he freely admits that the GE dream he once had is as comatose as Don Geiss. Meanwhile Lemon defensively munches on her Mexican Cheetos at 8 AM. Tracy and Frank approach her as she hangs up with Jack. Tracy wants to know if something in the folder he carries looks like wizard nipples or not. He is hard at work on his uncanny valley video game, with Frank's aid. The working title of the game is "Goregasm: The Legend of Dongslayer." I have to say, it's not too dissimilar from the exclusive video game notes I unearthed a couple of weeks ago over at SlapClap. Tracy commiserates ironically with Lemon about working hard on a project while everyone else goofs off provoking her to burst out crying. "Uh-oh. Emotions. You having your woman times?" asks Tracy. "Oh boy," remembers Lemon. She missed her period.

Lemon flips through her unmarked calendar as Cerie enters her office bringing coffee. She looks at all the birth control dispensers on her desk and adds "I think you're supposed to take all of them in a row."

Kenneth enters the office of a one Mr. Pete Hornberger. He wants Pete to write him a letter of recommendation to be a page at the upcoming XXIX Summer Olympics, pronouncing XXIX in a new and profound way. Pete was a former archer who missed his chance at gold because of the US boycott in 1980. The problem however is that the deadline for submission to be a page at the games is today at five which floors Kenneth. His memo indicated it being a full two weeks from now. Suspicious? Well, yeah... Donny pops up outside of Pete's office. Donny admits to sabotaging Kenneth's dream by sending him a fake memo with the aim of scoring the page position himself. Now it's up to Kenneth to write his application essay in enough time to qualify for the job.

Jack walks into his new office and is greeted by Cooter Burger, his new co-worker. Cooter looks a lot like Matthew Broderick but I don't think that's him. I could be wrong but -- no, that's definitely not Broderick. The offices are a mess. The ceiling is leaking and there are zero pens on the premises. The problems are only compounded by Cooter's refusal to acknowledge any of the disaster surrounding them. According to studies there is no leak, which sounds like an attack on the current administration. I'm no Mark Russell, and I would never claim to be, but I think it is.

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30 Rock




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