Downstairs, Lemon preps for Operation: Budget BJ. She emerges from her cheap date makeover, and it's just as awful as you might expect. Think this, meets the seedier parts of Atlantic City. The crew cheers her on, slow clap and all. Lemon: "They may take my dignity, but they will never take our straws!" Raucous cheers.
Chez Kenneth. Jenna and Tracy stand outside Kenneth's bedroom door, one whimpering about Kenneth's creepy towels, the other promising to throw up all over Jenna's face. They open the door, scan the room, and find a bug bomb in the middle of the room. They run screaming, leaving the door to the bedroom open behind them. R.I.P. Sonny Crockett.
Lemon's doorstep. She and Budgetary Brad share an awkward "are we or aren't we" moment, so she cuts to the chase. They go back and forth (or so it would seem) until they strike a deal that allows BB to make a detour by first base on his way to home. And there will be sounds, courtesy of Lemon. Sexy times, ho!
The next morning, Jack asks Lemon about her date, then reveals that it was all for naught because her set is still being steadily taken over. She steams that she had a deal. Jack thinks she played her hand wrong.
Down the hall, Tracy and Jenna come clean to Kenneth about thinking him a serial killer and inadvertently murdering his bird. They consider the problem solved and start to prance away, all easy-breezy. Kenneth stops them and tears them a new one for not trusting him. He considers it unforgiveable. Furthermore, he thinks their attitudes are for crap in this terrifying time of cutbacks. He says he may be a 'non-special,' but their behavior was inexcusable.
Meanwhile, Lemon charges down the hall to pull a Kenneth on old Base-Rounder Brad. She chews him out for not coming through on his end of the deal, only to discover that he didn't realize they were engaging in a deal to begin with. When he mentioned that he wanted the night to be worth it, he was actually referring to having sex for the first time since his wife died. He dissolves into pathetic sobs, shouting, "What kind of a person are you?" He looks upward and apologizes to his wife in Heaven for choosing someone so unworthy. Guess who's the monster now.
Upstairs, Lemon, Jack, and a representative from HR go over the finer points of Bitch-Tears Brad's sexual harassment suit against Lemon. HR Guy deems her a "filthy prostitute." He says that, since it was a first-time offense and since Jack explained the "mitigating circumstances" (menopause!), she'll get off with a two-week unpaid suspension. Jack chips in that clearly Brad can't function in this hostile environment, so the budget review process will start over again, this time under Jack's supervision. The HR peon castigates Lemon that harassing others sexually doesn't always work out in the end. (Except in this exact situation, but he doesn't need to know that.)