Lemon prepares for the filming of her first Dealbreakers talk show and so leaves Frank in charge of the writers. After making sure the tech guys take down the computer firewall so they can watch lots o' porn, he starts turning into her. This mostly involves eating ham, losing his TEENAGE GRANDPA hat, developing a serious case of frizzy hair, and acting extra fussy. Meanwhile, Devin calls Jack from D.C. and warns him he must make Dealbreakers work or his ass is grass. Normally this task would be no problem, but Lemon herself is morphing into a crazy person, namely Jenna. Well, an Exorcist-style approximation of Jenna, but with a worse haircut. Lemon's freak-out pretty much destroys the show, but Jack manages to broker a deal that the opening titles will appear on Spanish-language soap operas any time a TV is playing in the background. No one is more relieved that Lemon is back to her old role than Frank, who nearly reached the apex of his transformation, stripey scarf included.
Elsewhere, Tracy decides he wants a baby girl, but Angie questions his commitment to fatherhood. In a convoluted twist, she challenges him to follow in the dreams of Philip Michael Thomas and win an Emmy, a Grammy, an Oscar and a Tony (EGOT). Only then will she give him a daughter. With the research and analysis of Grizz and Dot Com, Tracy determines that the secret to snagging the holy quadrity is to compose the best song ever. What follows is a truly dreadful mingling of mariachi, adult contempo, scat (courtesy of Jenna), cowbell (courtesy of Kenneth) and various other popular music styles. Next, he turns to EGOT-er Whoopi Goldberg, only to be caught creeping out the door with her trophies in hand. Ultimately, it's an impromptu R&B slow jam that does the trick. Angie resigns herelf to his deadbeat dad-ness as long as he's pursuing the EGOT.
30 Rock studio. Jack shows Lemon the set for her Dealbreakers talk show. They agree that this show could be the single thing that changes her life forever. In Lemon's best-case scenario, she's a blonde, milkshake-drinking lady of leisure who's deeply in love with her husband, Astronaut Mike Dexter. Unfortunately, Pete interrupts Lemon's fantasy to tell her they've got a Jenna situation. Specifically, Jenna's sadistic niece made Jenna look too fat in her crayon drawing, and she's locked herself in her dressing room. Lemon tries to placate her with a hair compliment, but Jenna's finally caught on that Lemon can't actually see her hair through the door. So Lemon pulls out the big guns and threatens to enlist the help of Jenna's nemesis Jenny McCarthy if Jenna doesn't want to perform that week. The McCarthy Maneuver snaps Jenna right out of her tantrum. Jack thanks Lemon for being herself and not a crazy person. He thinks her level-headedness will be the key to the show's success. Foreshadowing alert! Pete, too, is thrilled of the prospect the show's success will have for him and his freedom from this soul-crushing enterprise.
Lemon walks down the hall, where Tracy beckons her into his dressing room. He tells her he wants to have a baby girl and that it's now her job to tell Angie the good news. Lemon naturally doesn't want any part of it, but Tracy has anticipated as much and handcuffs her to a shelf until she does his dirty work. Angie enters the room, and Lemon spills the beans. Angie is nonplussed by this prospect, seeing as Tracy hasn't been the most hands-on father with their other kids. She scolds him for cutting into her Christmas shopping time. He offers to do the Christmas shopping to prove to her that he is responsible and attentive. He heads off to go shopping. Angie leaves. Lemon = still handcuffed. Credits.
Writers' room. Lemon tells the staff she has to pass the baton for the week while she promotes her talk show. Based on the fact that "it's not about who I like the most, or who's funniest," she gives it to Toofer -- who quickly blows it by reciting a Tennyson quote. Lemon next moves to Lutz, who vomits slightly from the pressure. She asks a couple guys in the back, but they're not keen either, so she ultimately hands the dubious over to honor to Frank and his TEENAGE GRANDPA hat. His first mandate as HBIC is to get the tech guys to remove the internet firewall so the staff can stream porn.
Upstairs, Jack get a call from an I.M. Aduzsj, a.k.a. Jack's nemesis Devin Banks, who wants to force Jack to say "I am a douche" at least once. Jack falls for it but doesn't acknowledge it to Devin, who's down in D.C. Jack assures Devin that NBC is operating at peak efficiency, so Devin brings up the Dealbreakers talk show. He threatens Jack that he will take him to task if the show loses even one penny. Jack tells him he will make it work, then shoots, "Moron says 'What?'" Devin proves for the bajillionth time that he is a moron by saying the magic word. Jack cackles and hangs up, leaving Devin asking, "What? What does he say?"