Jack: If you're calling to check in on your bailout money, just read the budgets we sent. We're getting more efficient every day. Our healthcare costs are way down since we started putting something in the coffee to keep women from getting pregnant
Devin: It's funny, I have been reading the budgets. And I couldn't help but notice you're doing a talk show with your four-eyed little friend.
Jack: That is a business decision. She wrote a very popular book.
Devin: It doesn't matter. You know how bad that could look? Worse than me in Capri pants... which you'd think I'd be able to pull off because I'm tall.
Jack: What are you saying, Banks?
Devin: If this Liz Lemon project loses one penny, I am going to publicly flog you like... well, like me at the Provincetown Flogging Festival.
The Affair of the Necklace
Yakov: That belonged to Philip Michael Thomas, the actor who played Tubbs on the Miami Vice.
Tracy: Sure. I know him from the secret black people meetings. Nah! I'm just kidding! He's not invited. But who's the EGOT?
Yakov: EGOT is not a person, TJ. It's a goal. It stands for Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony -- four awards that Thomas planned on winning in his career.
Tracy: That's a good goal for a talented crazy person.
The Situation Room
Lemon: I've been on the other side of that door, Jack. You can't outsmart me. I know all the tricks. It's like that movie The Negotiator.
Jack: I didn't see that.
Lemon: In the end, the police chief turns out to be the bad guy.
Jack: I didn't say I wasn't going to see it! Lemon, what is it going to take to get you out of there? What do you want?
Lemon: I don't want to do this show anymore. Shut it down.
Jack: I can't do that. If this thing loses money, I may as well let Banks play out one of his gay home invasion fantasies on me.
Lemon: Then it's a stand-off. And I want pizzas for all the hungry people in here!
Jenna: Jack, I just got your business sext. What have you done?
Jack: This is no time to play the blame game.
Jenna: Of course, not. I'm not wearing my outfit.