Lemon heads into work on a sunny day looking good, feeling good. So good in fact a man in a limo accosts her with a wooing catcall. It's Jack! He's back from DC and wants to get his old job. In case you forgot Jack lost his job at the end of last season to his business nemesis Devon Banks. Also, in case you forgot, Lemon decided that she wanted to adopt a baby and today the adoption agency will conduct their home evaluation test with her. "There is no chance I'm blowing this," she declares.
Jack offers job assistance to Devon and his faux-wife Kathy Geiss but is rudely turned down. After a few choice reminders about how Devon is underperforming in his new business role, Devon offers Jack a job in the mailroom. He'll take it. Meanwhile Tracy announces that his pornography video game is a smash success: "through the riz-noof," he says. "Well how far through the riz-noof?" asks Jenna. "Whoa, that's not slang," corrects Dot Com, the entourage member. "He has a speech impediment." Jenna points out mildly that she wants some of those points given the fact that she provided voices for the game, but Tracy holds his royalty check up to her face as "priz-noof" to the contrary. "Now that one he was just being obnoxious," says Dot Com to Jenna.
Jack is now the mail boy at NBC Universal. He plans on working his way up through the ranks and believes he can get his job back in nine years time. Lemon retreats back home for her appointment with the adoption agency home evaluation. At Lemon's apartment Bev the adoption agency evaluator grills her with questions about sex cams and her arrest record and at the same time lights on fire a rolled up newspaper to test the room's smoke detector. It's an unorthodox evaluation. It gets even more so when the evaluator invites herself to Lemon’s place of work.
Jack brings Kathy Geiss her copy of Soap Opera Digest and then smooth talks his way into convincing her to let him help her. Get it? "Let me. Help. You." She approves by placing one hand on his knee, and then it goes further up the leg. Jack is caught off guard to say the least.
Lemon tells the TGS staff that she needs them on their best behavior when Bev comes in for her evaluation.
Jack is now a conflicted man. Penetrate Kathy Geiss and turn the stairway to success into an escalator or continue along the virtuous path but wait another five years to win back his job? Later, Jack is in Central Park with his co-workers in the mailroom when Devon appears from out behind a gay rock. Two other gentlemen follow him out and then scurry away. Devon plans on shutting down the company for two years in order to starve supply and create a greater appetite for demand. (Read more about this economic plan here. )
Back at 30 Rock Lemon shows Bev around the TGS set and compliments it as a superior environment for kids, but when Bev interviews her co-workers they all, one-by-one, sink her with comments. Like Jenna's for example: "I used to date O.J." Jack pulls Lemon away from the rapidly decaying adoption evaluation process and tells her he is going through with it. He's going upstairs to "doink" Kathy Geiss. Tracy has an announcement to make and makes it loudly in front of Bev and Lemon. He bought gifts for everyone involved in the pornography video game. Devon walks in, to Lemon's dismay. She has to warn Jack.
Upstairs in Jack's former office, Jack and Kathy Geiss slow dance to "Feel the Vibration," when Lemon charges in and warns Jack about Devon’s imminent arrival. They leave immediately, taking the elevator the same time that Devon exits the other. Jack expresses second thoughts to Liz. "Is this the way my life was supposed to play out? The kid who walked four miles every Saturday to caddy because mother said that golf was a game for businessmen?" He dreads the idea of having sex with Kathy, but considers it his only option. Lemon begs to differ. Maybe it's not about sex; maybe it's about attention and the high drama Kathy sees everyday watching her stories. Jack thinks soap operas are all about sex but Lemon corrects him. They're actually more about scenes where "someone’s twin interrupts a wedding, or someone pulls a gun at a fitness center."
Bev walks in on this conversation and Jack takes her on a tour of the studio. Along the way they walk into a shouting match between Tracy and Jenna. Jenna’s furious about her thank you gift for working on his video game, which is a coupon for free hugs. Bev is shocked to discover that Lemon has been lying to her about the child readiness of her work environment. Jack tries to convince her of Lemon's worthiness but in runs Kathy Geiss who knocks Bev into the wall. Jack warns Bev to run away and she does … straight into Frank's set of gold nunchucks, given as a gift from Tracy. When Bev wakes up she has no memory. Lemon shows her around the office like it's the first time and this time people are on their best behavior. Does it make a difference? No. Bev says that because of the amount of hours Lemon has to work it does not make her a suitable candidate for adoption. Lemon gives an emotional plea to the contrary and the plea works. Bev reverses her decision agreeing to reconsider her evaluation. The two smile at each other. Pause. Bev says, "I'm Bev. I'm here to do Liz’s adoption evaluation." Argh! Lemon asks for someone to finally take the poor woman to the hospital.
Jonathan alerts Lemon that Jack is about to have sex with Kathy. Lemon runs into the office upstairs. "Don't do this! If you do you'll be just as bad as Devon." "Liz what are you doing here?" Jack looks over at the television playing a soap opera. "I thought you were at the fitness center with your twin?" He silently urges her to play along with his carefully orchestrated ruse of a scene meant to be reminiscent of a soap opera. They convince Kathy that they are lovers. It goes over so well with Kathy she demands they kiss. Will they? Of course not.
Outside Jack runs into Devon. He shows him a signed paper. Proof that Kathy has hired Jack to manage her on all business matters. Lemon pays a visit to Jack who is back in his old office. Bev unfortunately recovered completely from her head trauma and denied her application for adoption. She'll have to seek out a different agency. "The semi-virtuous path. You won't regret it," Jack tells her. Lemon exits. Lemon peeks her head back inside Jack’s office. "Did you need something else Lemon?" "No. I just like seeing you in there."
It felt like forever for the new season of 30 Rock to start, but here it is and there you are looking all good. Before I start let me assure you that even at the tail end of this tense season of Presidential politics I won't be advocating for one candidate over the other. I will only allow, well within the context of this recap, that Tina Fey absolutely nailed her Saturday Night Live impersonation of Sarah Palin. The way Palin waves at rallies like it's a Macy's day parade, her ability to not answer questions from a moderator AT ALL and if she must answer them to answer them confusingly. Even that folksy down home charm she has that I thought only existed between the pages of poorly written Annie Oakley fan fiction. Finally, the inspired way she talks to regular Americans giving us all the feeling that only some of us actually belong in this country. But don't ask me. Ask Joe the Plumber. On with our show!
Lemon the maleless TV writer parades down the boulevard like Lou Reed in a deodorant commercial. She's looking good, feeling good. So good in fact a man in a limo accosts her with a wooing catcall. It's Jack! He steps out of the car and the two greet awkwardly, settling on a pal punch to the shoulder. Jack's back from DC and wants to get his old job back. In case you forgot, Jack lost his job at the end of last season to his business nemesis Devon Banks. Also, in case you forgot, Lemon decided that she wanted to adopt a baby and today the adoption agency will conduct their home evaluation test with her. "There is no chance I'm blowing this," she declares.
Jack the unemployed rich white man (indeed times are that tough) stands in his old office in front of Devon the Vice President of East Coast Television and Microwave Oven Programming. He offers job assistance to Devon and Kathy Geiss, Devon's possibly invalid stage wife, but is rudely turned down. After a few choice reminders about how Devon is underperforming in his new business role, Devon offers Jack a job in the mailroom. He'll take it.
Meanwhile Jenna the desperate actress has some great news for the crew. She has a residual check for her work in a commercial being slapped while drinking Japanese cola for Tokyo University and now she plans to "buy us all some new boots for me." Tracy the dong slayer walks in flanked by Grizz and Dot Com. He's got exciting financial news. His pornography video game, a reference harkening back to last season's superb episode Uncanny Valley, is a smash success: "through the riz-noof," he says. "Well how far through the riz-noof?" asks Jenna. "Whoa that's not slang," corrects Dot Com the entourage member. "He has a speech impediment." The title of Tracy's new video game is "Dong Slayer," at least according to the cover that is in Tracy's hand. I see a picture on the cover too of a cartoon version of him standing between two half-naked white women. Yes we can. "Dong Slayer" has sold 61 million copies at $60 each. Jenna points out mildly that she wants some of those points given the fact that she provided voices for the game, but Tracy holds his royalty check up to her face as "priz-noof" to the contrary. "Now that one he was just being obnoxious," says Dot Com to Jenna.