30 Rock

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Michael Neal: B | Grade It Now!
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Not So Fast, Shark
Lemon drops an envelope in the mail boy's mail cart. "Thank you," says Jack the mail boy who is now the mail boy at NBC Universal. He plans on working his way up through the ranks from mail boy to Vice-President just like he did the first time he was at NBC 22 years ago. He believes he can cut that time more than in half and do it in nine years this time. He's already been promoted once since this morning. Lemon retreats back home for her appointment with the adoption agency home evaluation. Back at Lemon's apartment the adoption evaluator, played by Megan Mullally and familiar to some of you as manic and shrill zinger queen Karen Walker on the defunct sitcom Will & Grace, investigates Lemon's personal space like a U.N. moderator in the Middle East. "How often do you entertain gentlemen sex guests?" asks the evaluator. "Oh, boy, that's a -- once a year, but I'd be open to cutting that down," says Lemon. Bev the adoption agency evaluator continues to grill her with questions about sex cams and her arrest record and at the same time lights on fire a rolled up newspaper to test the room's smoke detector. It's an unorthodox evaluation. It gets even more so when the evaluator invites herself to Lemon's place of work.

Meanwhile at work, Jack brings Kathy Geiss the mute rich daddy's daughter her copy of Soap Opera Digest and then smooth talks his way into convincing her to let him help her. Get it? "Let me. Help. You." She approves by placing one hand on his knee, and then it goes further up the leg. Jack is caught off guard to say the least. Lemon tells the TGS staff that she needs them on their best behavior when Bev comes in for her evaluation. That means no pornography out in the open. Frank the pervy TV writer wants to play his tape of circus accidents but Lemon cuts him off with a no. In the background is Pete Hornberger putting away his inflatable sex doll. Jenna steps into Lemon's office to ask for her advice on how to handle not being compensated by Tracy for her work as a voice actor in the "Dong Slayer"- voice acting you say? Lemon tells her that Tracy "has something very special planned."

Jack confides in Lemon about being violated by the hands of Kathy Geiss. "It made me very uncomfortable. It's not at all erotic and fun like when men do it to women." Nevertheless he is now a conflicted man. Penetrate Kathy Geiss and turn the stairway to success into an escalator or continue along the virtuous path but wait another five years to win back his job? "I thought you said nine years?" says Lemon. "I was promoted again this morning to Director of Mail Systems."

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30 Rock

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