Bonus: Lemon flips through the channels until she comes across the Beta version of porn for women. She sits transfixed, happily rendering the $24.95 for this handsome fellow's services. Bom-chicka-bow-JOKES...

No Brotherly Love for Beantown
Jack: This is an exciting time for NBC -- not Seinfeld, Friends, ER exciting, more like 3-D episodes of Merlin exciting, but I believe that this is a great opportunity for all of us because Kabletown is a great company. Even if it is from... Philadelphia.
Lemon [hurls snowball at Jack]: Go Eagles!
Jack: How did you even get a snowball?
Lemon: Philly rules! Cheese steaks! Bobby Clark! Will Smith! Your town sucks!
Jack: You do not want this argument, Lemon. Boston is the greatest city in the world. Boston Tea Party. Boston Cream Pie. Boston Rob Mariano. Birthplace of Benjamin Franklin.
Lemon: Yeah, then he looked around, realized it sucked, and moved to Philadelphia!
Jack throws something at Lemon.
Lemon: Ugh, did you just whip a battery at me?
L.A. Executive: Mr. Donaghy, I'm sorry, can we get back to the meeting?
Jack: Of course. My apologies to our friends from the great city of... [chuckles] Los Angeles.
Everyone laughs at L.A.
L.A. Executive: Hey, stop laughing! L.A. rules. Michael Bay. Freeways. Legoland.
Jack clicks off TV.

Master of the Universe, Indeed
Jack: Before I take your questions, I'd like to say a few words about Don Geiss. The world has lost a giant. He built GE into the greatest company on Earth, and the Earth into one of the top three planets in the universe. For those of you wishing to pay your respects, there will be an Episcopal cryogenic freezing service open to all Six Sigma Black Belts and higher.
Tracy: That's the craziest thing I ever heard -- Episcopal!