Later, Lemon makes her way down the jetway onto the plane, where she has a run-in with a pushy guy in Jets sweatpants. Carol asks, "Excuse me, young lady, are you old enough to be traveling alone?" She puts on a baby voice and jokes about seeing her Nana, then quickly realizes that fantasy is just a little bit tainted by its pedophile implications. Carol gets an eyeful of sweatpants guy and employs his bitchy male flight attendant Stuart to exact some airplane whoop-ass on the guy. Lemon is well impressed. She heads back to sit down, where she meets the guy across the aisle who is totally not an air marshal. Carol announces that there is runway traffic, and they'll be taking off in about half an hour. Lemon introduces herself to her neighbor as the pilot's girlfriend before gasping that there's a man on the wing. She recognizes soon after scaring the bejesus out of everyone that they are not, in fact, airborne, and that the man in question is a mechanic. Smooth.
Toronto. Jack and Avery arrive in their hotel room, the Prime Minister's Suite. Jack beholds the site of the G8 Summit across the street and suggests to Avery that they do it on the balcony. As he prepares himself, she grabs the bellboy's hand in the agony of a contraction. He can't believe she's in labor because she's not due until March. She begs him to get her back to the airport so their daughter won't be a (gasp!) Canadian. They worry about all the things she'll be denied if she's a second-class American (a.k.a. a Canadian). She grabs his neck and holds on for dear life as what is sure to be a long journey to the border begins. Good thing their nearest border city isn't in Arizona.
Back in New York, Tracy is bored -- and maybe a little scared of the decrepit, old white ladies -- at his luncheon. He stands up to speak and starts blubbering instantly about the cashews looking like baby penises. He tries to convince himself out loud that being an EGOTer is fun and toasts to spending the rest of his life in rooms like the one he's in now.
Plane. A baby cries as Lemon's seatmate wonders why it's been over an hour when Carol announced they'd been leaving in 30 minutes. Flight attendant Stuart announces they're starting in-flight entertainment: Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole and several sitcom pilots that weren't picked up by NBC. More babies cry. Lemon heads to the front to talk to Carol. He says it'll be another half hour. She questions how long it's been, so he lets her in on a trade secret: When pilots say "about half an hour," it's really just a clever calculation for how much time they know passengers can withstand mentally, though not necessarily the truth. Lemon disapproves, which starts a fight. She senses his tension and finally backs down, returns to her seat, and tells her neighbor it'll be about half an hour.













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