30 Rock

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B+ | 1426 USERS: B-
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Babies on Board

Back up in the Great White North, Jack and Avery finally find a ride. In a van with John Cho! On two conditions: They have to drive and can't smoke. Their new Canadian friend Lorne (John Cho) chuckles that, if they're cops, they have to tell them, then accidentally leaves open the curtains to the back of the van and reveals a mobile meth lab. Jack thinks it might be a wise time to quit, but Avery will have none of it, so they agree to "drive this bomb to Buffalo and get this little bitch" born.

More plane. More crying. More tubby, middle-aged men walking down the aisles shirtless. Lemon, now stripped down to only a camisole on top, heads to the galley to suck on a used tea bag from the garbage. Carol finds her there to tell her they've been offered a gate, so they can head back to the lounge with reclining chairs and turkey wraps. "Tuuuuuurkey wraaaaaaps," growls Lemon's stomach. But he'll only go if Lemon makes a plane-wide announcement that she was wrong. They descend into a verbal slapping match about all the things they hate about each other. She insults him, oversees a show with such timely fare as "Austin Powers on Crossfire," and won't admit she's wrong even when there's irrefutable evidence. He has no compunction to make passengers suffer for his pride, uses a goofy voice on the intercom, and builds bookshelves so the books will slide off (or so he claims). It all boils down the fact that they're both stubborn as mules. The argument wraps up with Lemon saying she'd rather die on the plane than bow to his authority. He tells her that can be arranged.

Somewhere north of the Canadian-American border, the snow is falling heavily as Jack gasses up the ol' meth lab. Since his jig is up, Lorne wonders what Jack and Avery are smuggling in Avery's "fake" belly. Could it be unpasteurized cheese? Prescription drugs? Maple syrup from the Sacred Tree of Souls in Winnipeg? Jack assures him that Avery's pregnancy is real, even her sitcom-y contraction howls. Lorne advises them to head to a hospital and launches into a meandering tale about how his intense parents drove him to the place he is today. Somewhere between the riffs on Quebec stereotypes and the offer of meth, Jack realizes he has to give in and call the hospital. He starts to dial 9-1-1, but Lorne tells him that it's 2-7-2 in Canada. Jack tells him flatly, "I will not do that."

30 Rock

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