Later, Jack asks Tracy if he can illuminate a bit about Kim Jong-Il's personality. Tracy gravely tells Jack that KJ likes to shoot in close-up too often ("Comedy lives in the wide shots") and that his acting notes are often vague. Jack thanks him, then turns back to the TV, where Avery is making an announcement under the headline "Western Lie-Monger Apologizes." Jack is prepared to accept all of the propaganda Avery spouts (including floggings similar to their pirate-themed foreplay and cinder block breaking that she pays her trainer $1,000 an hour to replicate) until she says she's been convinced that Capitalism is flawed. Jack clasps his hand to his mouth, whimpering, "Oh my God, what have those monsters done to her?"

He goes to his last resort: Condoleezza Rice. She greets him with the typical passive-aggressive hostility of an ex. He apologizes for breaking up with her by text, going out drinking with Karl Rove on Valentine's Day, and calling her favorite movie lame. Condi shoots back, "Mars Attacks is awesome!" She demands he admit she's better at piano than he is at flute. He refuses, so they have a dueling banjos-esque competition that results in Jack falling to the ground in defeat. He admits she's better, so she says she'll see what she can do, then asks him to "get out of here before this gets weird."