Jack and his nanny sing little Liddy a quaint island lullaby: "Hush little baby, tomorrow you shuck the cane. Your little fingers bloody, prepare to be whipped." Liddy peacefully drifts off to sleep as Avery calls in on Skype. She insists on waking up Liddy so she can have some mommy time, but Jack says their pediatrician Dr. Kevorkian insists on putting her down. He catches himself and realizes what an unfortunate name and word juxtaposition that was. Jack tells her to call back before Liddy's Babynomics class the next day at 11 AM, but Avery screams out and wakes the baby anyway.
Lemon's apartment. Jenna "supervises" as Lemon cleans up the mess Tracy left in the top floor of her apartment. She picks up a blue bottle of soda and wonders why there are so many like it there. Jenna tells Lemon it's Tracy's urine. Says Lemon, "He is not well!" She insists that someday her apartment is going to be an amazing duplex like on Diff'rent Strokes. She starts going through boxes of stuff that she's let fall to the wayside, including a Spanish course, the start of her novel (featuring the line "Liz stabbed Jenna repeatedly"), and a copy of The Secret that Jenna gave to her. Jenna thinks visualization is key to achieving your dreams, but Lemon thinks it's more about taking control, like she did to get Tracy back on the show. Jenna says that if Lemon's so in control, why is her personal life a mess? To wit, she points to a sticky note on Lemon's sweatshirt that reads, "DO NOT wear again without washing!!!" Lemon admits Jenna's right and vows to put as much effort into her personal life as she does into work. Credits.
Lemon marches into Jack's office to tell him about her new life philosophy: Lizbianism. She announces that her new philosophy maker her "a dyke... against the rising waters of mediocrity." She shows him tile samples she's going to use to redo her bathroom... then the world! Jack congratulates her for talking like a winner and ceremoniously gives him one of her neckties. As he ties it, he quotes William Earnest Henley: "It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul." She recognizes it from Invictus, then asks, "Wait, who was the white guy in that?" (We miss you, Carol!)
He says smugly that maybe someday Lemon will be like him, running a multi-billion dollar corporation and raising a child. He tells her Avery's been out of the picture since she's been on assignment for NBC's "Hot Blondes in Weird Places" initiative. He thinks it might be easiest for Avery to stay in Asia until Liddy is sleep trained. Lemon tells him to be careful what he wishes for because, according to The Secret, it will come true. He shouts out, "I wish Liz Lemon would leave so I could go back to work!" She stumbles backward as if pulled by some external force and gets all the way to Jonathan's desk before falling and acknowledging that wasn't part of the bit.