30 Rock. Lemon and Jenna walk into work as Lemon describes her latest flop of a date. Lemon says she won't let one failure get her down, she's going to keep putting positive vibes out there and wait for good things to come to her. As if on cue, Kenneth tells her she has a message from a "Mr. deBarber." That'd be Floyd, Lemon's former love who moved to Cleveland. And yes, that would make his name Floyd deBarber. Obviously Tina Fey and her writers are banking on an older demographic. Jenna is astounded that Lemon's Secret-style approach to life work. She sends out a good vibe to the universe to send her a white football player -- "no kickers or linemen." Credits.
Over in the writers' room, Pete congratulates Danny on being nominated for a Juno, a.k.a. the Canadian Grammy. Danny explains that he recorded the "Are You Ready for Some Football"-esque song that plays on the big screen during Ottawa Senators hockey games. And, I must say, after listening to it over and over, it's kind of catchy. Could Danny and his Canuck friends have created the new "Umbrella-ella-ella-eh?" (No pun intended on the "eh.") Either way, the exposure has even scored him a New York Times profile. Danny leaves, and Frank moans about all of Danny's positivity. He, Toofer, and Lutz ("The Pranksmen") decide to mess with him by writing a fake profile and putting it in the company-wide press packet to make him look like an idiot. While Frank and Toofer are jubilant in their scheming, Lutz is just happy to have friends. The most he's ever had, in fact. Two.
Out in the hall, Pete finds Kenneth to tell him they need to keep Tracy and Jenna occupied all day so they don't see Danny's profile, get jealous, and act out like children. He says he's going to send them to makeup to get plaster casts of their faces made. He anticipates it should take about 12 hours (or at least that how long it needs to take), so Kenneth offers to keep them company. Pete's face absolutely lights up at the thought of Kenneth telling an immobilized, voiceless Tracy and Jenna his stories for half a day. He says they'll absolutely hate it, with a sadistic glee reminiscent of Gary Oldman's character in Hannibal. Kenneth's stories are that guy's man-eating pigs. And, coincidentally, about half of his stories probably do involve man-eating pigs. Pete leaves, convinced, and Kenneth chuckles to himself: "Silly Mr. Hornberger, always saying 'hate' when he means 'love.'"