Upstairs, Jack calls Lemon to show her that Floyd is back on Today and drunk as a skunk. He won't leave, and it's starting to get on his Kathie Lee's nerves. And that's saying a lot. Floyd's intended, decked out in her fanciest cropped shirt, tries to break up the scene, which is a no-go. She makes the best of it, waving awkwardly at the camera. Floyd nearly barfs on the anchors, but it's a false alarm. Lemon gasps. She tries to explain to Jack what happened, but he doesn't care, just tells her to fix it.
Lemon runs downstairs to wrangle the drunk and his lady. She apologizes to the bride-to-be, offering her a consolation prize of a TGS mousepad and Dateline wallet. Soon-to-be-Mrs. deBarber is relieved she wasn't the one who caused Floyd's bender. Lemon assures her he spoke fondly of her during dinner. Floyd, now sobered up, says he blacked out. He wonders if he fell down because his back hurts. He lifts up his shirt to show he's gotten a mega-tramp stamp (not unlike these) tattooed on his back. Lemon can't help herself from snickering a little as she apologizes some more. But the laugh's on her. Floyd's fiancée mentions that she doesn't really have any girl friends and asks if Lemon will read a passage from Corinthians at the wedding. And, really, how can she refuse?
That'd be like denying you guys the jokes... or denying Pete his Kenmares. Because that happens. It seems the Trennaprah's only been shifted, not vanquished entirely. And, in Pete's head it involves Kenneth in silver hot pants with a strategically placed peacock. [And Liz, with a man's voice, saying "Let's do this." - Zach] Glorious!
The Singles Market Is About As Bleak As the Job Market, Huh?
Jenna: A breakfast date? Who is this guy?
Lemon: I met him on K-Date, which is the personals section of the Kraft Foods website.
Jenna: And? What was he like?
Lemon: Ummmm, he owns a cockatiel named Arliss.
Jenna: Oh God!
"Make a Hockey-Lovin' Face"
Pete: Hey, Danny, congratulations.
Frank: Congratulations? For what?
Pete: Danny was nominated for a Juno, which is like a Canadian Grammy.
Danny: Yeah, I recorded the psych-up song that plays during Ottawa Senators games. I'm not going to win, but it's an honor just to be nominated in the same category as Sir Dave Coulier.
Pete: Well, it should be great exposure for you.
Danny: I know! And there's going to be a profile of me in the New York Times as filler because of dwindling ad sales! Isn't that awesome?
Frank: I am sick of that guy's positive energy. We gotta start messing with him.
Lutz: Yeah, like, what if we trick him into kissing me? It'd be so funny, because I'm not gay.