30 Rock

Episode Report Card
Michael Neal: B+ | Grade It Now!
Elisa meets Jack at the door in a hot dress. Salma Hayek is truly the best spokesperson for cleavage. You know, like the way Matthew McConaughey so eloquently represents beef. They kiss, but then the doorbell rings. Jack hides behind the curtains. Elisa opens the door, and it's Mr. Templeton's son Michael. He walks in and Mr. Templeton grabs him by the arm. "A man comes at night. He comes to the house and takes me. He wears a suit. His hair is thick. He made me watch a giraffe with the legs of a man!" Mr. Templeton's accusations are all true, but they also sound insane. "Dad, there's no man." Elisa manages to walk Michael into another room so that Jack has the chance to tip toe out. He does, literally, but before Jack can make it to the door the old man perks up and starts yelling. Jack quiets him and then explains himself. "I'm just a guy dating your nurse, who took advantage of your condition to be with her. Do you understand what I'm saying?" Jack apologizes in earnest. He's lost too many good things and can't let it happen again with Elisa. "Elisa the Puerto Rican?" asks Mr. Templeton. "Wow that really doesn't sound okay, but yes," answers Jack. The old man promises to not tell his son about their late night escapades, but he also makes it clear that the next time they go out he wants to visit the place in New York where he proposed to his wife. "And then, I want to go to a Negro bar."

Lemon walks onto set wearing her jacket. She's taken aback when she sees Tracy and Jenna run on stage dressed as clowns. Tracy announces, "In the grand tradition of Patch Adams prepare yourself for the styling's of Tracy the amazing, and Jenna!" They run on stage and Tracy throws a bucket of confetti onto an unsuspecting, and very ill, member of the crew. Jenna fumbles with two steel rings like how Woody Allen handles physical comedy. Lemon steps on stage and asks "Do you really think this is helping?" Jenna and Tracy hit her with pies. The crew is outraged. They yell to leave her alone. Lemon sees fit to remind Jenna and Tracy that she's well like by everyone on set now, as she takes off her jacket. That's when one of the members of the crew recognizes the rash on Lemon's arm. "She got a flu shot. She lied to us!" yells someone else. This is shaping up like Lemon's High School reunion. They ask for their meat plate back. Lemon is desperate to defend her actions. She explains her need to have a healthy vacation." I work so hard guys. Don't I deserve to sit on a beach?" Kenneth points at her and says something accusatory in French. Lemon can only come back with a justification that she planned to take an island lover on her vacation- a young Pilipino man. The crew walks away in disgust, and the scene transitions into a television screen, followed by Jack, joined in his office by Lemon. He turns off the TV. "I'm so embarrassed," she tells Jack, but he encourages her. By his thinking, the crew should hate upper management. "Embrace your elitism," insists Jack. "Your special. You're different." Lemon stands up confidently, and in agreement. Then there is some kind of belly sound. It is a guttural - how best to put this? - bowel movement noise. "Did that come out of you or me?" asks Jack. He points out that the flu vaccine is a small part of the virus itself. So there is always the chance... then he and Lemon both run furiously towards the nearest bathrooms. They better both have magazines, and, for their sake, I hope they're year-end issues.

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30 Rock




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