30 Rock

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B | Grade It Now!
Backing into the Future

Dentist's office. Lemon arrives and scans the room for her FH as she fills out her entry forms. Not recognizing him immediately, she decides to call his phone to weed him out. The phone rings across the room, and it's dreamboat Prime Minister-reporter-vampire Michael Sheen. He picks up the phone, and Lemon fumbles to snap hers closed. Instead of shrugging off the silence on the other end, he calls her back. Her ring tone sounds like an unholy match between R&B sex music and industrial techno. He walks across the room and asks, "Can you tell me why you come up on my phone as 'Future Wife'?" She invites him to join her for a cup of coffee. Moments later in the coffee shop, they are having the most awkward conversation ever. She insults British teeth, he references bread back. All in all, it's a real two-way charm offensive -- emphasis on "offensive." She tells him she thinks they're getting off on the wrong foot, and they take a strained pause to recollect themselves. Except they both start talking at each other at the same time. More pausing. All FH Wesley can eke out is a mortified, "God!"

Connecticut. A pair of Jacks, Donaghy and Welch, meet up to discuss the buyout. Welch informs Donaghy that Geiss is actually dead, and that it's being kept under wraps until the deal goes through. Donaghy recalls the same tactic was used when Hiram Sheinhardt kicked out in the midst of the RCA deal. Welch offers to go out and get Donaghy some "weakness tissues" in case he needs "to pass some eye water" for his mentor. Donaghy vows to keep it together but insists that Geiss wanted the company intact. Furthermore, he says, "these people are from Philadelphia!" Welch slaps him in the face like Cher in Moonstruck: "Let it go, John! It's over."

30 Rock. Lemon returns from her disaster date to find Kenneth eagerly anticipating the Fatal Attraction-style fireworks. She tells him how awful the date was: "It was so awkward, the waitress gave us separate checks without even asking. And a priest asked us who we'd lost." Kenneth's faith wavers a bit as he tells her that everything has to work out. No, counters Lemon, "Sometimes everything is just the worst." She stamps into her office, where Jack is waiting. He tells her about the acquisition of NBC by Kabletown. Lemon gives a thinly veiled meta shout-out to Comcast, "a fine and generous company." Jack tells her that his childhood dream has died along with Don Geiss. Even as she consoles him for the loss, she wonders if she can still turn in old taxi receipts for reimbursement. She suggests he speak to Avery, but Jack says he thinks it's over between them. Jack self-narrates his tragic fall from power, taking a dramatic pause, which he claims is "the sound of me getting erased from contact lists all around the world." Lemon offers him a hug. He's so soul-crushed he actually takes it, his eyes glistening.

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30 Rock




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