The next day in Jack's office, Elisa and abuela stop in to offer him breaded calves brains. Abuela absolutely loves Jack now. She kisses him on the cheek and says, "What are you going to do about the NBC News? It's too sad." Back at Lemon's apartment, Dr. Baird is at the door. He has some of Liz's misplaced mail, and, of course, has opened it. There's a Monty Python movie, a letter from the Cheese of the Month Club, another from the Steak of the Month Club, and a copy of Vegetarian Times. If given the chance, he says he probably would have liked the woman behind this mail. Lemon gives a full mea culpa and asks for a second chance. "I know that I lied to you, and I accidentally roofied you, but weirder things have happened." To her good fortune, weirder things do happen, on her TV. The Today Show is reporting that actor Tracy Jordan has bought and reopened the investment bank Lehman Brothers. At his press conference Tracy tells the media, "I'm doing this so no one will know I'm getting old." (When the irony of that statement is pointed out to him, he declares the press conference over.) That news segment is followed by a montage of Latin babies set to the music of Tito Puente. "Okay," concedes the doctor. "It's a date."
A Bi-Partisan Sharing of the Blame
Jack: "They were bankers laid off after that economic crash that Nancy Pelosi caused."
Why There Should Be a Podiatrist Superhero
Jenna: "He's a pediatrician, so you know he likes kids. Or is it feet? No, no -- kids."
Remember the Last Scene in Boogie Nights?
Jack: "Wasn't that a treat? Only the special tours get to see Conan without his wig."
It's Because You're Human
Jack: "It's because I'm white."
Elisa: "No. I've had white boyfriends, black, Cuban, Brazilian guys with German heritage..."
Jack: "I get it. You've been with other men. Congratulations."
Attention, Class: Grammar! Sharp Ruler!
Brian the Intern: "We'd be honored if you come with."
Tracy: "You shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition, at."
Of Course You Do
Oswalt: "I live in the basement, so I have all the nails."
...Let Alone the Cousin with the Panic Room
Elisa: "I don't think you should come to my cousin's police academy graduation, or my other cousin's parole party. I hope those two don't eventually have a showdown that pits family against justice."