30 Rock

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Michael Neal: B | Grade It Now!
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You've Got Male!

In Which We Meet the Cast of Los Amantes Clandestines

Los Amantes is on! The actors take quick turns towards the camera. Actress Juanita Gomez is holding a statute of the Virgin Mary. Actress Roberta Pino is in the role of Mexican lady. Then it's Adolfo Dorita's turn to turn. Here's a little fake "fake soap opera" trivia for you: Dorita is a nine-time loser of Best Supporting Disheveled Migrant Worker at the Latin American TV y Novela Awards. He's also always in pain. Jack is on the phone with Elisa, and asks if abuela is watching. Of course she is, and she has been told by Elisa that tonight will be a very special episode. Pedophilia? No. In tonight's episode, the actress Juanita Gomez sneaks into Generalissimo's home with a gun. "This is for my father," she tells him in Spanish, and then she shoots the General! She shoots him again! Why is he not falling? He laughs and says she missed, and back at 30 Rock Jack mutters to Elisa that Hector Moreda is off script. The Generalissimo drinks from the brandy snifter in his hand and then tells his failed murderess that it's a potion for eternal life. Abuela clutches her cane, and when Jack's name appears in the end credits, she shakes her head very disapprovingly. Afterwards, Jack finds Moreda in his dressing room and demands to know why he changed the script. The answer is to be expected. Moreda has been in the role of Generalissimo for years. It's brought him fame, wealth and an endorsement deal with Sabor de Soledad. "I am not going to let you take that away from me," says Moreda, and then he phones the President of Telemundo in protest. Of course, it's Jack's officina. "Well played," says Moreda. It would appear as if Moreda is a Latin lover with no sexy recourse, but then Jack explains his motives: that his girlfriend's grandmother hates the Generalissimo character, and therefore, vis-à-vis, him. Ding! Moreda has a seduction idea. (A seduction idea!) He tells Jack that he will re-create his Generalissimo character so that it embodies everything an old Hispanic woman desires. He will make Elisa's grandmother love him, and therefore, vis-à-vis, Jack. Ding!

Elisa gives Lemon the translated script of the next episode of Los Amantes. "I took out all the Star Wars references." She also cut out a scene between the General and a woman because of what the General had already done to the woman's daughter. In a previous episode, Generalissimo tricked the girl to his villa under the false pretense that he was throwing a fancy party, but when she arrived, no one but the General was present. He drugged her champagne and had his way with her. Lemon gets it in her head to do the same thing to Dr. Baird, minus the drugs. She'll invite him to her apartment for a fancy party, only on the wrong day. By then it will be too late. She'll offer him some wine. They'll laugh, and then she'll put her mouth on his mouth. It's adorable how much Liz can care less about adopting a baby from episode to episode.

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30 Rock

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