Bonus! Lemon reacts to the various names Jack might give his daughter. She is appalled by Claire, snarks that she'll visit Joanne on the farm with her wife, thinks Jacqueline would equal "a little Jack, but with boobs," thinks Daphne Donaghy is a Dorky name, Kylie is fit for a girl who strips her way through community college, and concludes that Christina is no good because she'd be nicknamed Tina, a name notoriously given to judgmental bitches. And now that we're through with the name-calling, how about some more traditional yuk-yuks?
Lemon's Thriving Social Life
Lemon [answers phone]: Hello.
Dick Lemon: Hey Liz! It's your father, Dick Lemon.
Lemon: Dad, you don't have to say your name every time.
Dick Lemon: Telephone etiquette is important, Liz. It lets people know your race even when they can't see you. Anyway, got a busy week?
Lemon: Not really. I was going to take this class called "Cooking for One," but the teacher killed himself.
Dick Lemon: Well how about a visit?
Lemon: Really? That'd be great. With you and Mom here, the doormen will have to eat their words about me never having friends over.
The Things Tracy Left Behind
Lester Holt [voice-over<>]: Tracy Jordan, star of the Fat Bitch movies, was also voted "Worst Representation of a Black Man" nine years in a row. Perhaps best known for his FCC fines and giving the Queen parvo--
Tracy: This is terrible. When I'm dead, that's what I leave behind? That's how my grandkids will remember me as they fly around in their jet packs?
Kenneth: Well, it's not fair out of context. Her Highness was sending signals.