30 Rock

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B | Grade It Now!
Munchkins & Masochists

Jack asks what the guys are planning to do next. They plan to transition boys' night out to boys' night in with a screening at Lutz's place. What movie, you ask? Why that old-time, Sasquatch favorite Harry and the Hendersons! Jack doesn't do movies in middle-class squalor, so he invites the fellas over to his place.

Back at the donut shop, Jamie Lynn is telling Lemon her life story, which ends with the prophetic words, "and meanwhile, his MyFace page still says 'Status: Horny.'" I need to find this MyFace. I could be "Status: Surly." Lemon shakes her head in sympathy. Jamie Lynn thanks Lemon for listening. Lemon asks what she plans to do next. Jamie Lynn says she's thinking about adoption, but none of the candidates are down with the times. "Not one of them even knew who Ne-Yo is!" she gripes. Lemon vaguely hums and mumbles a song that more closely resembles Gordon Lightfoot than Ne-Yo, but Jamie Lynn grasps at her attempt to identify like it's manna from heaven. She's so glad to have finally found somebody cool. Lemon plays along and chows down some more on her donut.

Cut to the dramatic climax of Harry and the Hendersons. That ape can really act! The boys are awestruck... Well, except for Lutz, who is asleep with a hoagie in his hand. As you do. Jack spells out the moral of the story: George Henderson had to be cruel to be kind, for Harry was not one of them. "It gets me every time," sniffles Frank. They compare the film to Jack's favorite flick, Shane and realize that both films feature fathers who rebuff their children. Frank argues that it always works out in the movies. Jack maintains that they turned out okay, too. Frank grunts a lukewarm agreement, and Lutz takes a bite of his hoagie in between snores.

The next morning, Kenneth visits Tracy's dressing room to record the date of his birthday. Tracy reveals that he has no birthday, since he spent his whole life in foster homes. Tracy doesn't seem too bothered about this gaping hole in his life. Kenneth goes all Jiminy Cricket on his ass, and starts expounding on the magic of birthdays. He says he's sorry Tracy never had that... and the wheels in his head start spinning faster than the wheels on the short bus. As he walks out, Dot Com daintily files his nails and snipes, "My birthday's September 21st... not that anyone asked."

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30 Rock




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